ABSILVER's World

Things I know for 2010 * Surprisingly after a year of great change, I am happier than I was a year ago. * I need change for work to be interesting, fun and not boring. * That with all the technology, Internet, and "social networking" nothing beats meeting someone or people in person. * You can't really know someone without meeting them. * I am not sure where I will be living in a year. * True friends know when to hold their cards, and when to play them. Cards range from criticism, compliments, jokes, and kindness. * Sorry, but I do like dogs better than cats and not just cause cats make me sneeze. * My hypothesis, is it is not cats but cat litter. Not that matters for the above comment. * That 1 degree of temperature means more in the cold north, than it does in south Florida. (1 vs. 0 is much more interesting than 77 to 76.) * That people need to admit to their own racism to conquer it. * Flying in this economy has gotten easier. And the newer planes are smoother than th

What have I learned in a year. As of last Wednesday, I am now 45 and as I look to the 46th year of my life the question has to come up. What did I learn in the last 365 days and what do I expect for the following year. I learned in my 45th year that courage comes in all different shapes and sizes. That family is a gift, and my parents being alive, healthy, and happy is a great gift to me, my siblings, and their grandchildren. That dogs are wiser than we humans give them credit for. That with choices comes a challenge, confusion, and sometimes a desire to stand in one place. That many people go through the motions every day. I have created a life where I am full of choice. As I try to navigate these choices, happiness is a challenges. As my friend Rich said yesterday, it was easier going to work every day. You built a routine in your life and things just happen. But, when you have choices and part of that choice is time, and flexibility, that it is hard to maintain focus or happi

I sit here in Provincetown watching it rain and after a very interesting week and weekend. As someone that has taken a leave from IBM, at least for now, I am being kept busy by the employer that I parted with. I am quite lucky, but that is not the reason I sat down to add to my blog. With various events in my life recently, and in the past it has struck me that there is an odd cost to being popular. I listened to Barbra Streisand's interview on the Sunday Morning news and she mentioned that she is a homebody and explained that for her to go to dinner is involved because of her popularity and is like acting. People will be taking her picture, and always publish the least flattering of them, and the news will be there and she is happy and content at home. The New York Times had an article today ( http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/streisand-upends-the-social-order-briefly/?hpw ) about her one night at a night club in New York and mentioned how in a small room of fans

Happy New Year... It is the Jewish New Year, year 5770 starting tomorrow. As the Holiday is known in Hebrew as Rosh Hashannah or the head of the year it makes me wonder. What is in my head for the new year. If I look back at the previous year... many things changed and my life took on a different focus. Where I started the year gainfully employed by IBM, two homes, and a feeling of life’s contentment. I also started 5769 with a feeling of change in the air. Rosh Hashannah services were as they had been for the past decade at least. At the synagogue in New York, where I have written before feeling a closeness to Judaism I had not felt in a long time. As Yom Kippur approached, I decided to try and celebrate on the Cape with friends, Kevin and Rich. Services on the Cape did not and do not have the intensity of a New York synagogue. Thankfully, nothing in Provincetown or the Cape has the same level of intensity of Manhattan. The Kol Nidre services watching the sunset on the Hud

Love comes from the most unexpected places In someone's eyes you've never met Who wants to get to know you In someone's smile you can't forget And if the music plays on in your mind Take all the love that you can find And if love takes you in Take all the love that you can find And hope it comes again Love comes from the most unexpected places A love song on the radio you never heard enough of In bars that thrive on loneliness Where people sell their sorrow for your time They take the love that they can find And if love takes them in They take the love that they can find And hope it comes again Love comes in many ways In lovers' arms in sweet bouquets But if nothing's said than nothing's ever heard So here i stand outside your door And i'm trying to tell you just once more That i love you I still love you Love comes from the most unexpected places Alone again i search a street of unrelated faces Where strangers look the other way They're so afraid my

Hmm. Beautiful, horrible, magical, terrible. Reason to laugh and smile. Reason to cry yourself to sleep at night. Start a fight. Make up, break up, wrong or right. Heaven for all its worth can equally be held right here on earth. (And no one really knows anything about it) But everybody needs it. We can't life without it. And that's the way it goes.) Darkest day, brightest night. Just some other things you might hear if you ask what love feels like. And it feels like joy, and it feels like pain. And it feels like sunshine, feels like rain. An excuse for dying, reason to live. And if you don't know, that's what love is. Love is. Gentle kiss, sweet caress. Kiss the base of your neck. Argue until my head bursts, I can't remember what you said. Out, screaming loud, don't know what we're screaming bout. So confused and yes its true, but if it wasn't there what would we do? (And no one really knows anything about it) But everybody needs it. We can't live w

I was accused of always writing in my blog of things that do not reflect my happiness. Although not every day can be happy, or joyous I do have plenty to be happy about and usually feel like one of the lucky ones. So... Here are a few of the things that make and continue to make me happy. 1. A quiet walk to the breakers in Provincetown. 2. A quiet walk in Provincetown interrupted by friends, and the flowers of spring and summer. 3. Good friends that you can depend on. 4. Having successfully sold my house in Jersey to help survive career shifts and the economy. 5. The work my business ABS Partner Marketing brings me even if I am not totally ready for constant work (smiles) 6. The welcome of Pearl (corgi) when I return. 7. Realizing at the end of a business trip I will be back in my own little slice of paradise. 8. Learning that things are just that... Things. I do like nice ones but in the end they are not nearly as important as happiness and the people in your life. 9. Ending a 24 yea

Here I sit in the lovely town of Provincetown. Across the street is the beach, and the water of the bay. As as I watch the sky go from gray clouds to the dark of night I am reminded how lucky I really am. To sit here in the middle of paradise, even in my small slice of it is priceless. People come from all over the world to spend their week here and I get to wake up every morning in paradise. That said... living in paradise comes with its own challenges. We have the luxury in Provincetown that the SEASON is only 10 weeks really. We stretch it out to before Memorial Day and continue themed weekends up till November, but it really is From July to Labor Day if the weather holds. This year has been quite challenging. As the west coast is baking, and the center of the country is tried with rain we seem to have a difficult time stringing together more than a few days of sun and warmth. I have turned on the AC once, and tonight am thinking I will need the Duvet for the first time sin

We all have our own definitions of what these words mean.. and frankly how to explain them to others. Is love about passion? is it about the love felt because someone is your child? friend? spouse? pet? There are so many kinds of love in the world one must wonder how to find comfort in such a word. We all seem to not just want but to need real love. In my mind, as Barbra Streisand sings on her Superman Album Love Comes From Unexpected Places. It can be a man standing in a bar. It can come from sitting out in the sun with an incomparable dog... just looking for love and affection. Or, can come in from the cold on winter night when you are just trying to chill at a restaurant or bar alone. But, we all seem to thing we know what love is when it comes to our door. To me, there is an unexpected love. The love that when it hits you, you know that your life will never be the same. That when you find that person your heart opens a hidden door. There is some compartment or ability to

Have you every wondered what it is like living in the San Diego zoo? Imagine, that you lived in your home and environment and all was fine. The same house, the same trees, the same chair you maybe sitting in now. The only difference is that now there are people walking by and watching you. If you decide to eat, drink, sleep, walk down the hallway for popcorn here are people watching. That is what I thought of this morning in Provincetown. Walking down the street and watching it come alive with tourists. And seeing their eyes as they see the lush flowers, the stores open, the restaurants and just people all meandering from here to there. Looking at the homes, and enjoying a break from their lives and comparing this to whatever their life maybe. Similar to being at the zoo watching the chimpanzees eating bananas and socializing. What strikes me.. is in this case the animals are the locals now such as myself. Living in the house, going to the store, and doing every day things.. w

Selling Highland Park for me is like a caterpillar who has to wrap itself in a cocoon and shed its skin to be become a butterfly. This morning I am home, sittin here in Provincetown... I never thought 3 years ago that I was moving home when I bought this condo. I bought it for an escape from New Jersey and to give me a gay escape (and Harry) in the months we were up north. But, Provincetown has a way of working itself under your skin and with a great family here at the condo and new friends all over town, Provincetown slowly became home and Highland Park slowly became a destination to escape when I needed space. So.. it maybe smaller (i.e. how does 2200 go into 310) but it is home and I slept like a baby finally being home last night. This sale has made for a very trying month. Selling real estate, or more to the point being a seller of real estate, is not an easy or pleasant task. Inspections, repairs, permits, lack of permits by town folk that knew what was going on from the be

As I end one phase of my life for another.. as I sell the house in New Jersey I keep trying to reach back to the best memories here. I have memories of finding this house the first day Harry and I started to look for a home we would live in together with Daisy. Moving in... Decorating the house and enjoying creating a magical home together. My mother's birthday party with her (and my) family. Parties.. spring fling last year with Barry Last summer with my niece.. Donna here and in Provincetown. Passover Seders But what I realized tonight is the best memories don't have a date. The best times were spending them with Harry, Daisy and creating a life that just worked. Day to day.. work to work.. walk the dog.. clean the house (ok hire Maria to clean the house). The best times were really days.. and weekends. Walking, eating, cooking and watching silly English comedies on the weekend. So.. as my life moves on I need to remember the best of times don't have a date or an eve

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale, in the middle of Passover, and tomorrow is Easter. Not only is it a lovely day in paradise, but it has been a great day to go walking. And for me walking means thinking.. I start out with the music, listening to Diana Ross, ABBA, Heather Small and others and all of a sudden something catches my mind and the ear buds come out I remember the first MP3 player I had. Was a samsung and I enjoyed it but I realized while focusing on the music I didn't always think and missed those times alone with myself. Today's journey is a journey of religious confusion, and a journey of deciding again what it means to be gay. I keep hearing that conservative factions of my religion andreligions around the world don't hate gay people they just hate the sin of "gay" acts. I assume they mean sex. In other words, it is ok to beattracted to people of the same gender just don't have sex with them. I read the press release from the Orthodox

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale alone... in many ways feeling out of the norm. Odd moments: * In my ex's condo, that we shared while together. Able to see the changes we made together, sitting on the sofa we found together, and even looking at the CD holder my father and uncle put up on the wall for us. * Went out to Java Boys for coffee, and watching the men waking up from a Saturday night of fun. Even though, was out to dinner with fellows, talk about a new TV show.. 5 gay Jewish men out for dinner! OY! * Single, left IBM, with opportunities opening up sooner than I expected and wondering about what, where my future is, and what do I want it to be. * Wondering about what comes next in my life sitting here alone and feeling content with my life today. I sit here not in immediate desire of a husband, and continually challenged when I find a relationship. Successful relationships for me are about balance and equality. Where each is able to support themselves, independent enough

What is peace, happiness and tranquility? I sit here on a flight back to Jersey wondering how to buck the trend and the magnetism of the "Rat Race"? In other words, at the age of 44 and at the end of my career at IBM how do I resist the obvious. How do I resist putting together a star resume, reaching out to friends and trade in one corporate badge for another? As, I sit here after spending a little more than two weeks in Fort Lauderdale, my view on peace and happiness is beginning to change. Is it possible to find a simpler life with work that is more rewarding and not all consuming of time and attention. So many nights at IBM ended and started the same way. Two hands on keyboard chatting, email or analysis focused on IBM instead of falling asleep with me, life, family or love as my focus.No regrets about IBM ... Just want to maintain focus on what is important to ME as I look to the next stage of my life.

From: bsilver@us.ibm.com To: Shalom%IBMUS@us.ibm.com Sent: 2/21/2009 4:57:29 P.M. Eastern Standard TimeSubj: Shalom for now and May you all find Happiness, Health, and Contentment... Friends, Monday marks my last day as an IBM employee. I have seen many excellent short farewell notes lately, but as you all know I have never been known for my brevity of note writing. These changes organizationally I believe are right, and are opening the door for me to explore new opportunities outside of IBM. I started as a Co-Op in college, 24 years ago, in what was a new team focused on Software sales / marketing to help drive hardware sales (at Narional Marketing Division Headquarters in Atlanta). I am ending my career focused on partner sales leadership of another new business model around software appliances (Data Power). Here we are today where change is the norm and these changes I hope will keep IBM and all of you strong for many years to come. Some of my IBM career highlights: * IBM renting ou