Love, Happiness and Success
We all have our own definitions of what these words mean.. and frankly how to explain them to others.
Is love about passion? is it about the love felt because someone is your child? friend? spouse? pet? There are so many kinds of love in the world one must wonder how to find comfort in such a word. We all seem to not just want but to need real love.
In my mind, as Barbra Streisand sings on her Superman Album Love Comes From Unexpected Places. It can be a man standing in a bar. It can come from sitting out in the sun with an incomparable dog... just looking for love and affection. Or, can come in from the cold on winter night when you are just trying to chill at a restaurant or bar alone. But, we all seem to thing we know what love is when it comes to our door.
To me, there is an unexpected love. The love that when it hits you, you know that your life will never be the same. That when you find that person your heart opens a hidden door. There is some compartment or ability to love someone without any conditions. In some ways the most painful of love because what is in your heart is not your choice or more importantly under your control. So, you know that love will last for ever. This takes me to AIDA on Broadway. The lyrics have always sang to me in a way that is not the intended. What if AIDA happens to be a man. The love forbidden is not the love of a prince and princess from enemies, but actually a love of two men. I would suggest the lyrics especially of the Song Easy as Life would not change. How many men and women in history have fallen for the lyrics of this song... especially the last verse:
Oh, and though I'll think about him
'Til the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy, it's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
Loving someone so much, that even though they may not be yours.. your partner or your "family" you still only want their happiness. i.e. You want them to live a long and happy life. I think that is the rarest of love. Similar to the love I have felt coming from my parents and grandparents, but in this case the love is not in your DNA but just in your heart.
Happiness to me is as varied and allusive as Love. People talk about happiness in the terms of fulfillment. Some talk about it in terms of living in a certain location. Or, seeing their family happy or in the love they have felt or are feeling. I have written in my blog about the importance of happiness, I am not sure I have the definition of what it is to me.
In fact, I have argued with others at times about the difference between Joy and Happiness. Where Joy is a feeling to me of the moment. I am sitting at Pepe's in Provincetown with some of my favorite ladies.. and all I can feel is joy in the moment. Happiness to me is not a moment, but a realization that you are living in a time where you are "happy". Doesn't mean every moment is perfect. Doesn't mean you don't feel moments of sadness and confusion. But, it means to me, that you feel that you are a happy person with a positive outlook on life. Frankly I think Happiness allows your heart to open for the rarest of love. Or, might it be the other way? That finding a rare and deep love allows you to be truly happy? I hope that it is possible to find true happiness alone... and that once you have that you can find the love and success that continues to grow that happiness.
This leads me to success. I am not sure why these three words caught me in my walk this morning. Possibly, the answer is they caught me because I wonder if feelings of love and success contribute to a feeling of happiness. Success seems to match up to a need of most people to find fulfillment. We at one time were not much different than the animals in the Forrest. We needed food, shelter, and water and spent most of our waking moments in their pursuit. Along with sex, and reproduction the human animal had to find the same wants and needs as other animals.
As we humans, with our big head and standing tall among the animals, learned to use tools and build huts and find food easily and water. We started to have time on our unique hands. So we started out on tasks to make our lives easier. Making clay pots, fashioning arrows for hunting, or other tasks that at heart were focused on the same basics of life. Did these humans have the time to think of happiness? love? or if their life was successful? I assume success could be based on their own safety and the feeling of contentment in their belly.
We evolved over time, to not having to worry about safety in terms of other animals. More so, we had to worry about each other than a tiger or lion coming into a tent or hunting down a child. Possibly, this is why dogs found their way into our lives so early. They added senses that we humans do not posses as well being hearing and smell, helping them and us bond together for survival.
But, success has changed. We went from the basics to kingdoms, to leaders and followers, to religion, to government, to inventions. I never forget my Grandfather at the age of 100 being asked what was the greatest invention in his lifetime as we looked at the new millennium. I heard him say the light bulb. Not all this new fangeled technology we have.. but a comment that made the basics of life better and I remember him or someone mentioning indoor plumbing as well. So, as we evolve the basics are shall we say quite basic in the end.
Success today, is defined by many in monetary terms... and then as people's incomes grow to a level that they could feed their family for centuries, this need changes from monetary to a valuation of power and exclusivity. Wouldn't it be the easiest life for Oprah? to cash in and buy the island of Oprah and have all her hearts desired? Is her success a feeling of mission or is it a feeling of influence and power in the world that she can't give up. She has moved as far as possible from the early human focused on her life and her family, and yet yearns to continue to be a part of the fabric of the life of others.
I know people in Provincetown who are early retired. Not rich by the standards of Wall Street or Hollywood. But, I would say they are successful because they have found a balance of life. Working different jobs that give them them the basics and more. Frankly, as I sit here I realize they have it all, to me. They have love, happiness, and an ability to define their own success to be able to grow their own happiness.
Ha.. love and feelings of a success do feed happiness, as long as we are the ones that define these words.
Thanks for reading.
And Happy summer to Every One!
Here are the lyrics of the two songs I mentioned.
Barbra Streisand "Love Comes from Unexpected Places" Superman Album
Love comes from the most unexpected places
In someone's eyes you've never met
Who wants to get to know you
In someone's smile you can't forget
And if the music plays on in your mind
Take all the love that you can find
And if love takes you in
Take all the love that you can find
And hope it comes again
Love comes from the most unexpected places
A love song on the radio
You never hear enough of
In bars that thrive on loneliness
Where people sell their sorrow for your time
They take the love that they can find
And if love takes them in
They take the love that they can find
And hope it comes again
Love comes in many ways
In lover's arms
In sweet bouquets
But if nothin's said
Then nothin's ever heard
Here I stand outside your door
And I'm trying to tell you just once more
That I love you
I still love you
Love comes from the most unexpected places
In someone's eyes you've never met
Who wants to get to know you
In someone's smile you can't forget
And if the music plays on in your mind
Take all the love that you can find
And if love takes you in
Take all the love that you can find
And hope it comes again
AIDA.. "Easy as Life" Heather Hedley
Easy As Life
AIDA:
This is the moment when the gods expect me
To beg for help but I won't even try
I want nothing in this world but myself to protect me
But I won't lie down, roll over and die
All I have to do is to forget how much I love him
All I have to do is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation
Passion would have cooled and all the magic would have died
It's easy, it's easy
All I have to do is to pretend I never knew him
On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart
Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start
It's easy, it's easy
Until I think about him as he was when I last saw him
And how he would have been were I to be with him today
Those very rare occasions, don't let up they keep on coming
All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away.
It's easy, it's easy as life
But then I see the faces of an undefeated people
A father and a nation who will never come undone
This is how the gods rule all the faithful through the ages
Forces us to move in one of the hardest things we've done
It's easy, so easy
Oh, and though I'll think about him
'Til the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy, it's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
Is love about passion? is it about the love felt because someone is your child? friend? spouse? pet? There are so many kinds of love in the world one must wonder how to find comfort in such a word. We all seem to not just want but to need real love.
In my mind, as Barbra Streisand sings on her Superman Album Love Comes From Unexpected Places. It can be a man standing in a bar. It can come from sitting out in the sun with an incomparable dog... just looking for love and affection. Or, can come in from the cold on winter night when you are just trying to chill at a restaurant or bar alone. But, we all seem to thing we know what love is when it comes to our door.
To me, there is an unexpected love. The love that when it hits you, you know that your life will never be the same. That when you find that person your heart opens a hidden door. There is some compartment or ability to love someone without any conditions. In some ways the most painful of love because what is in your heart is not your choice or more importantly under your control. So, you know that love will last for ever. This takes me to AIDA on Broadway. The lyrics have always sang to me in a way that is not the intended. What if AIDA happens to be a man. The love forbidden is not the love of a prince and princess from enemies, but actually a love of two men. I would suggest the lyrics especially of the Song Easy as Life would not change. How many men and women in history have fallen for the lyrics of this song... especially the last verse:
Oh, and though I'll think about him
'Til the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy, it's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
Loving someone so much, that even though they may not be yours.. your partner or your "family" you still only want their happiness. i.e. You want them to live a long and happy life. I think that is the rarest of love. Similar to the love I have felt coming from my parents and grandparents, but in this case the love is not in your DNA but just in your heart.
Happiness to me is as varied and allusive as Love. People talk about happiness in the terms of fulfillment. Some talk about it in terms of living in a certain location. Or, seeing their family happy or in the love they have felt or are feeling. I have written in my blog about the importance of happiness, I am not sure I have the definition of what it is to me.
In fact, I have argued with others at times about the difference between Joy and Happiness. Where Joy is a feeling to me of the moment. I am sitting at Pepe's in Provincetown with some of my favorite ladies.. and all I can feel is joy in the moment. Happiness to me is not a moment, but a realization that you are living in a time where you are "happy". Doesn't mean every moment is perfect. Doesn't mean you don't feel moments of sadness and confusion. But, it means to me, that you feel that you are a happy person with a positive outlook on life. Frankly I think Happiness allows your heart to open for the rarest of love. Or, might it be the other way? That finding a rare and deep love allows you to be truly happy? I hope that it is possible to find true happiness alone... and that once you have that you can find the love and success that continues to grow that happiness.
This leads me to success. I am not sure why these three words caught me in my walk this morning. Possibly, the answer is they caught me because I wonder if feelings of love and success contribute to a feeling of happiness. Success seems to match up to a need of most people to find fulfillment. We at one time were not much different than the animals in the Forrest. We needed food, shelter, and water and spent most of our waking moments in their pursuit. Along with sex, and reproduction the human animal had to find the same wants and needs as other animals.
As we humans, with our big head and standing tall among the animals, learned to use tools and build huts and find food easily and water. We started to have time on our unique hands. So we started out on tasks to make our lives easier. Making clay pots, fashioning arrows for hunting, or other tasks that at heart were focused on the same basics of life. Did these humans have the time to think of happiness? love? or if their life was successful? I assume success could be based on their own safety and the feeling of contentment in their belly.
We evolved over time, to not having to worry about safety in terms of other animals. More so, we had to worry about each other than a tiger or lion coming into a tent or hunting down a child. Possibly, this is why dogs found their way into our lives so early. They added senses that we humans do not posses as well being hearing and smell, helping them and us bond together for survival.
But, success has changed. We went from the basics to kingdoms, to leaders and followers, to religion, to government, to inventions. I never forget my Grandfather at the age of 100 being asked what was the greatest invention in his lifetime as we looked at the new millennium. I heard him say the light bulb. Not all this new fangeled technology we have.. but a comment that made the basics of life better and I remember him or someone mentioning indoor plumbing as well. So, as we evolve the basics are shall we say quite basic in the end.
Success today, is defined by many in monetary terms... and then as people's incomes grow to a level that they could feed their family for centuries, this need changes from monetary to a valuation of power and exclusivity. Wouldn't it be the easiest life for Oprah? to cash in and buy the island of Oprah and have all her hearts desired? Is her success a feeling of mission or is it a feeling of influence and power in the world that she can't give up. She has moved as far as possible from the early human focused on her life and her family, and yet yearns to continue to be a part of the fabric of the life of others.
I know people in Provincetown who are early retired. Not rich by the standards of Wall Street or Hollywood. But, I would say they are successful because they have found a balance of life. Working different jobs that give them them the basics and more. Frankly, as I sit here I realize they have it all, to me. They have love, happiness, and an ability to define their own success to be able to grow their own happiness.
Ha.. love and feelings of a success do feed happiness, as long as we are the ones that define these words.
Thanks for reading.
And Happy summer to Every One!
Here are the lyrics of the two songs I mentioned.
Barbra Streisand "Love Comes from Unexpected Places" Superman Album
Love comes from the most unexpected places
In someone's eyes you've never met
Who wants to get to know you
In someone's smile you can't forget
And if the music plays on in your mind
Take all the love that you can find
And if love takes you in
Take all the love that you can find
And hope it comes again
Love comes from the most unexpected places
A love song on the radio
You never hear enough of
In bars that thrive on loneliness
Where people sell their sorrow for your time
They take the love that they can find
And if love takes them in
They take the love that they can find
And hope it comes again
Love comes in many ways
In lover's arms
In sweet bouquets
But if nothin's said
Then nothin's ever heard
Here I stand outside your door
And I'm trying to tell you just once more
That I love you
I still love you
Love comes from the most unexpected places
In someone's eyes you've never met
Who wants to get to know you
In someone's smile you can't forget
And if the music plays on in your mind
Take all the love that you can find
And if love takes you in
Take all the love that you can find
And hope it comes again
AIDA.. "Easy as Life" Heather Hedley
Easy As Life
AIDA:
This is the moment when the gods expect me
To beg for help but I won't even try
I want nothing in this world but myself to protect me
But I won't lie down, roll over and die
All I have to do is to forget how much I love him
All I have to do is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation
Passion would have cooled and all the magic would have died
It's easy, it's easy
All I have to do is to pretend I never knew him
On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart
Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start
It's easy, it's easy
Until I think about him as he was when I last saw him
And how he would have been were I to be with him today
Those very rare occasions, don't let up they keep on coming
All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away.
It's easy, it's easy as life
But then I see the faces of an undefeated people
A father and a nation who will never come undone
This is how the gods rule all the faithful through the ages
Forces us to move in one of the hardest things we've done
It's easy, so easy
Oh, and though I'll think about him
'Til the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy, it's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
It's easy, as life
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