ABSILVER's World

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale alone... in many ways feeling out of the norm. Odd moments: * In my ex's condo, that we shared while together. Able to see the changes we made together, sitting on the sofa we found together, and even looking at the CD holder my father and uncle put up on the wall for us. * Went out to Java Boys for coffee, and watching the men waking up from a Saturday night of fun. Even though, was out to dinner with fellows, talk about a new TV show.. 5 gay Jewish men out for dinner! OY! * Single, left IBM, with opportunities opening up sooner than I expected and wondering about what, where my future is, and what do I want it to be. * Wondering about what comes next in my life sitting here alone and feeling content with my life today. I sit here not in immediate desire of a husband, and continually challenged when I find a relationship. Successful relationships for me are about balance and equality. Where each is able to support themselves, independent enough

What is peace, happiness and tranquility? I sit here on a flight back to Jersey wondering how to buck the trend and the magnetism of the "Rat Race"? In other words, at the age of 44 and at the end of my career at IBM how do I resist the obvious. How do I resist putting together a star resume, reaching out to friends and trade in one corporate badge for another? As, I sit here after spending a little more than two weeks in Fort Lauderdale, my view on peace and happiness is beginning to change. Is it possible to find a simpler life with work that is more rewarding and not all consuming of time and attention. So many nights at IBM ended and started the same way. Two hands on keyboard chatting, email or analysis focused on IBM instead of falling asleep with me, life, family or love as my focus.No regrets about IBM ... Just want to maintain focus on what is important to ME as I look to the next stage of my life.