ABSILVER's World

I don't know how to explain it, and maybe won't post it anyway.  But, I hit a wall this morning.. don't think it is a major one but maybe a few feet high. Maybe, of value is to say I need to explore my mind more than anything at these times.  It comes in waves, and this morning one wave is that I have had a terrible runny nose.  My first inclination, in normal times, would be this is allergy season and this is normal for me.  Go find a Claritin and just move past it.  But, these aren't normal times so first I worry as yesterday was the first outing in a while and hope that I didn't pick "anything" up even though everything I have read runny nose is not normally a Coronavirus symptom.  Fast forward, I took a Claritin and in minutes the drip seemed to slow and so assume good sign it is an allergy.  When I think of the virus, and getting really sick.  My fear is being alone in a hospital.  I have spent enough time in a hospital in the last few months

So, I sit here in the middle of another rainy morning in east Texas.   This week we went from sunny warm days to cooler evenings to now another storm of heavy rain and thunder. The last few days have been challenging even though the weather was lovely.  I sat here perplexed and honestly not in a very good mood.  Work was ok.  We had a nice dinner of chicken thighs, potatoes, and veggies.  I even made Weight Watcher oatmeal cookies and used butterscotch chips instead of chocolate chips and was quite pleased with the results.  But, I couldn't shake this feeling of uncertainty and stress of life as we know it.  It is day 53 of being sheltered in place, and I am having a harder time as of late.   I think it is a combination of challenges, but at the heart of my angst is I feel a bit out of control of my life.  OK, I feel a great deal of lack of control as decisions are being made for me that I have little input on.  Want to go out to eat?  can't safely.

So, I sit here this morning. It is Friday. Normal Fridays come with excitement as the work week ends and you wonder what the weekend holds. Will we do something adventurous like go visit Tyler? We haven’t explored Shreveport, so maybe that would be an adventure or cook and have the family over for dinner. But, this is not a normal Friday, and this week has been anything but normal for me. It seems the days start ok, I go for my “power” walk and seem to have a clear handle on the day ahead. Then I sneak off to my office and try to focus and some of the days seem to wander back into a funk. I have social media content to write for the iSOA team, with some exciting opportunities in the API Management and Gateway arena. There is a Twitter marketing class I started but for the life of me have not re-engaged and really need to. The next class in the series is LinkedIn and I really want to take that class, but I think there is room to learn on Twitter so I need to back to it. This mo