What do you do when .. you are near the ledge?

What do you do when .. you are near the ledge.. only a symbolic one...

You know your life is about to change.. maybe it has to do with something good coming your way.  You won the lottery, or maybe you found out you received a bonus at work.  The ledge doesn't have to be a bad place it is just a place where you stand knowing your life is going through some changes, and that you don't have full control of the next steps.

This doesn't happen often in my life, but today ends up being one of those days.  I sit here watching the water go by, the occasional kayak go by, hear the birds chirp and know this is one of those days.  That my life after today will be different than it is today.  Sometimes it is about summoning all the power and wisdom I posses to make sure something changes or someone is helped, or help assure success of the moment.

So, what do you do?  I have written many times, that I have an editor in my head.  This extra cycle or two of thought that 99% of the time runs and says do or don't say what is on my mind.  Sometimes it is benign, like don't tell someone you really hated the meal they just cooked for you.  Or, no I don't want to date you because ....  and you know that is hurtful so you say something like I am not ready to date anyone.  Or, you realize that even if you can do something better it is not always good to step in and frankly it is many times not desired.

What do you do, in that 1% when you really just want to let it all hang out mentally.  Yes, I didn't date you cause you said you lived in a nicer neighborhood than you do and I wonder what else wasn't true.  No, I don't want to date someone who turns out the lights to kiss me.  It really wasn't too many beers, it was really that your bed linens and whole house is so pristine I know I won't live up to any future expectations.  You really know what is in your mind, is just an immediate reaction to something and if you can just let one person hear you know that it will be OK or you will come to your senses.

I have that special person in my life.  Talks me off the ledge.. and instead of saying jump, which sometimes might be an appropriate response, that person allows you to let off steam.  Understands you well maybe better than anyone, shows empathy, and then reminds you of the good in your life and certainly he is one of them. I am a lucky man for many reasons, and today I was reminded of one of the most important.  (Thanks!)

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