The value of therapy.. to me.
I am generally a happy person. I have a nice home (actually homes). Good job, and except for the occasional moment pretty well balanced I think.
So, why do I see a therapist? I started going to a therapist for the first time my ex and I had problems about 7 years ago. The first therapist helped, and helped us get back together. But, she was for me like a quick order restaurant. Once the current challenge was over, her value to me personally diminished greatly. I ended up spending more time talking about everyone else, and my friend that was seeing her. As compared to focusing on Brian and my life and where I was going.
A few years later, I started to not like to drive long distances. More importantly is it became a stressful place for me to be. Most of my adult life, driving was therapeutic to me. I loved driving and getting out. I would drive from Jacksonville to Atlanta at a moments notice. Or when I lived in Atlanta drive to get lost and find my way home. Didn't matter how long or far. I just enjoyed being out and about. When I moved up north was the same way. I would drive to the city or head up the burbs and see the sites and scenery.
One of my favorite holidays with Harry ended up being a roadtrip. I had an Oldsmobile Bravada (SUV) which I bought worried about snow. I had a steep driveway and I had a 45 minute commute so being able to get out and to work was important. Frankly, the Bravada was a very nice place to hang out. So, we took it for a ride to Maine and Provincetown. Was great fun, and I just remember it being very calm and relaxing. And yes, I did most of the driving.
So, for some reason, when I moved to New Jersey I slowly found driving distances to be stressful. Then one day, I actually had a mild panic attack driving to the gym. At first I thought it was the gym (smiles) but was more about being in the car. IBM has mental health benefits, and actually has a semi crisis line and they can approve 10 appointments and then beyond that is part of the normal health plan.
So, I met Lynda my current therapist. I learned that I have had stressful times in my life in a car, and that this was part of who I am. I have learned to drive further. Not any roadtrips.. but I don't need or want to. More important, having a therapist that understands not only my current life but my childhood and adult life is of great value in my life. Instead of Lynda helping me get in the car and drive to Florida, she has helped me be happy and appreciate where I am. I happen to be in a place in life where I don't need to drive all over to be happy.
As I embark on this exploration of my life and where I am headed, Lynda is going to help me. Someone once a week for 45 minutes that understands me and focus is on helping me. How great is that! and frankly I end up feeling therapy the whole week. I spend some time with Brian wondering what will I talk to Lynda about and what is the focus this week. I get through problems and find a way to focus on what matters the most that week.
I think the key is the right therapist. Who fits your personality and is smart enough to see through who you are and where you are in your life. While keeping an objective memory of your life. She can share with me when something is similar to my childhood, or some other point in my life and help me react and deal with now positively and not in a way that is not beneficial to me.
As, I start the journey, the blog and the next phase of my life. Having a good therapist along for the journey helps me feel confident I will continue to be happy and frankly will be happier.
Therapy shouldn't just for those labeled as mentally ill, but also be for people who just want time in their life to focus on improving themselves and their own life.
So, why do I see a therapist? I started going to a therapist for the first time my ex and I had problems about 7 years ago. The first therapist helped, and helped us get back together. But, she was for me like a quick order restaurant. Once the current challenge was over, her value to me personally diminished greatly. I ended up spending more time talking about everyone else, and my friend that was seeing her. As compared to focusing on Brian and my life and where I was going.
A few years later, I started to not like to drive long distances. More importantly is it became a stressful place for me to be. Most of my adult life, driving was therapeutic to me. I loved driving and getting out. I would drive from Jacksonville to Atlanta at a moments notice. Or when I lived in Atlanta drive to get lost and find my way home. Didn't matter how long or far. I just enjoyed being out and about. When I moved up north was the same way. I would drive to the city or head up the burbs and see the sites and scenery.
One of my favorite holidays with Harry ended up being a roadtrip. I had an Oldsmobile Bravada (SUV) which I bought worried about snow. I had a steep driveway and I had a 45 minute commute so being able to get out and to work was important. Frankly, the Bravada was a very nice place to hang out. So, we took it for a ride to Maine and Provincetown. Was great fun, and I just remember it being very calm and relaxing. And yes, I did most of the driving.
So, for some reason, when I moved to New Jersey I slowly found driving distances to be stressful. Then one day, I actually had a mild panic attack driving to the gym. At first I thought it was the gym (smiles) but was more about being in the car. IBM has mental health benefits, and actually has a semi crisis line and they can approve 10 appointments and then beyond that is part of the normal health plan.
So, I met Lynda my current therapist. I learned that I have had stressful times in my life in a car, and that this was part of who I am. I have learned to drive further. Not any roadtrips.. but I don't need or want to. More important, having a therapist that understands not only my current life but my childhood and adult life is of great value in my life. Instead of Lynda helping me get in the car and drive to Florida, she has helped me be happy and appreciate where I am. I happen to be in a place in life where I don't need to drive all over to be happy.
As I embark on this exploration of my life and where I am headed, Lynda is going to help me. Someone once a week for 45 minutes that understands me and focus is on helping me. How great is that! and frankly I end up feeling therapy the whole week. I spend some time with Brian wondering what will I talk to Lynda about and what is the focus this week. I get through problems and find a way to focus on what matters the most that week.
I think the key is the right therapist. Who fits your personality and is smart enough to see through who you are and where you are in your life. While keeping an objective memory of your life. She can share with me when something is similar to my childhood, or some other point in my life and help me react and deal with now positively and not in a way that is not beneficial to me.
As, I start the journey, the blog and the next phase of my life. Having a good therapist along for the journey helps me feel confident I will continue to be happy and frankly will be happier.
Therapy shouldn't just for those labeled as mentally ill, but also be for people who just want time in their life to focus on improving themselves and their own life.
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