Sex, Power, Love and Hope
I sit here in the rain of Key West. Thinking about the news of Elliot Spitzer hiring prostitutes, and he got caught. He didn't just get caught cheating on his wife, but he hired prostitutes. I for some reason am struck by his arrogance. Here is a man who road into power as the defender of what is right and legal in this country. Chasing down the top executives on Wall Street as if he was the judge and jury in many cases. Road to the governorship as being honorable, honest and certainly not above the law. But, in the middle of all of this he was hiring prostitutes. The NY Times says he hired many and that the agency was familiar with him. He had a tendency to be difficult and want things that were not necessarily "safe" but this last dalliance that got him caught went fine.
It struck me to the contrast of a few years ago with Mgreevey in New Jersey. Here is a man who was definitely cheating on his wife. He appeared before the public and resigned. He basically resigned because he finally came to terms with being gay, and his boyfriend was hired into a job he was not necessarily qualified for.
Bill Clinton is guilty of having oral sex in the white house. He is impeached and we wonder why the Europeans were laughing. Honest, handsome powerful man, the most powerful man in the world is sexy. Certainly, Monica Lewinsky may have had illusions of love or more. But, what Bill Clinton was guilty of was having sex in the oval office and lying about it. Obviously, he is not the first man in a powerful position to cheat on his wife, and then chose to try and hide it by lying.
The NY Times comes to a point of wondering if Spitzer will resign. I don't see any choice personally. The difference legally, is Spitzer broke the law. Hiring a prostitute unless you are in Nevada is illegal. There is no high ground here. There is no mistaking what happened. There is no other option than for him to resign and go back to his 5th avenue apartment. I guess the next step is to write a book and go on Oprah.
I wondered over breakfast. What is it and how might we contrast these three men. Or should we just lump them all into one category. Men who wanted sex, and for some reason, needed more of some kind than they were getting at home.
If you dismiss the legal issues confronting Spitzer. We see a man for some reason who was looking for sex. Willing to pay for what he wanted. And, probably looking for sex in some fashion that he could not get at home. I am by no means impugning his wife for not providing that sex to him. We hear that men often hire prostitutes because they say they are looking for intimacy, someone to listen, and companionship they cannot get in their busy lives. This cannot be the case here in my opinion. He has hired multiple prostitutes, and was looking for sex acts that were not necessarily safe. Personally, I think this was just about sex. A man who was looking for and found the sex he was after. Interestingly he hired these women, and after all the grandstanding about legal and morality he was guilty of breaking the law. By doing so, not only did he put his family at risk but he put the state of New York at risk as well.
McGreevey is guilty of cheating on his wife. I would suggest for being obsessed with hiding his own identity. He made it clear on Oprah that being gay was not about the physical act of sex alone. He had sex with women, and evidence of children proves that the sex was successful. What he said was he could not "love" a woman the way he loves men and his current partner. I have met people that know him, and will tell you he is very arrogant and self involved. The number of men who are married, and gay and following in his footsteps hoping to not get caught could fill up a large phone book. In McGreevey's case he got caught, and used that as an opportunity to come out to the world. His comments on Oprah changed the way I view being gay. I don't view homosexuality in the since of sex alone. Although, the world in general and the conservatives focus on sex acts as the definition of homosexuality. To me, it is really about who we can fall in love with. A deep passionate, honest, love that is felt deep inside. That to me defines being gay and defines how I see my homosexuality.
Is there hope? certainly. Spitzer is not the first man caught hiring a prostitute. Was there a press or government witch hunt after him? does it matter? he is definitely guilty. Was McGreevey self involved when married to his wife and not focused on his family? yes. Is Bill Clinton guilty of "having sex with that woman"? Certainly he failed his marriage, assuming he and Hillary don't have an agreement here. Each man failed their family, and in some way the public trust that helped them get elected, but I don't think you should lump all three men into the same category.
There is hope. I don't think Spitzer is unique. His greatest failing is that I think he believed he was above the law. While he was prosecuting Wall Street he believed he could do illegal acts such as this and get away with it.
I think we have three powerful men. Self involved, and for much of the time focused on the sex. Not sure if this is the biology of men, or just men who feel they should be able to have what they want when and how they want it. We have a great president. And two governors.. is the need for sex the driving force or is it a characteristic of powerful driven men. Is this a common characteristic? Don't know... personally. I don't know, and frankly don't have the drive they have to understand where they are coming from.
It struck me to the contrast of a few years ago with Mgreevey in New Jersey. Here is a man who was definitely cheating on his wife. He appeared before the public and resigned. He basically resigned because he finally came to terms with being gay, and his boyfriend was hired into a job he was not necessarily qualified for.
Bill Clinton is guilty of having oral sex in the white house. He is impeached and we wonder why the Europeans were laughing. Honest, handsome powerful man, the most powerful man in the world is sexy. Certainly, Monica Lewinsky may have had illusions of love or more. But, what Bill Clinton was guilty of was having sex in the oval office and lying about it. Obviously, he is not the first man in a powerful position to cheat on his wife, and then chose to try and hide it by lying.
The NY Times comes to a point of wondering if Spitzer will resign. I don't see any choice personally. The difference legally, is Spitzer broke the law. Hiring a prostitute unless you are in Nevada is illegal. There is no high ground here. There is no mistaking what happened. There is no other option than for him to resign and go back to his 5th avenue apartment. I guess the next step is to write a book and go on Oprah.
I wondered over breakfast. What is it and how might we contrast these three men. Or should we just lump them all into one category. Men who wanted sex, and for some reason, needed more of some kind than they were getting at home.
If you dismiss the legal issues confronting Spitzer. We see a man for some reason who was looking for sex. Willing to pay for what he wanted. And, probably looking for sex in some fashion that he could not get at home. I am by no means impugning his wife for not providing that sex to him. We hear that men often hire prostitutes because they say they are looking for intimacy, someone to listen, and companionship they cannot get in their busy lives. This cannot be the case here in my opinion. He has hired multiple prostitutes, and was looking for sex acts that were not necessarily safe. Personally, I think this was just about sex. A man who was looking for and found the sex he was after. Interestingly he hired these women, and after all the grandstanding about legal and morality he was guilty of breaking the law. By doing so, not only did he put his family at risk but he put the state of New York at risk as well.
McGreevey is guilty of cheating on his wife. I would suggest for being obsessed with hiding his own identity. He made it clear on Oprah that being gay was not about the physical act of sex alone. He had sex with women, and evidence of children proves that the sex was successful. What he said was he could not "love" a woman the way he loves men and his current partner. I have met people that know him, and will tell you he is very arrogant and self involved. The number of men who are married, and gay and following in his footsteps hoping to not get caught could fill up a large phone book. In McGreevey's case he got caught, and used that as an opportunity to come out to the world. His comments on Oprah changed the way I view being gay. I don't view homosexuality in the since of sex alone. Although, the world in general and the conservatives focus on sex acts as the definition of homosexuality. To me, it is really about who we can fall in love with. A deep passionate, honest, love that is felt deep inside. That to me defines being gay and defines how I see my homosexuality.
Is there hope? certainly. Spitzer is not the first man caught hiring a prostitute. Was there a press or government witch hunt after him? does it matter? he is definitely guilty. Was McGreevey self involved when married to his wife and not focused on his family? yes. Is Bill Clinton guilty of "having sex with that woman"? Certainly he failed his marriage, assuming he and Hillary don't have an agreement here. Each man failed their family, and in some way the public trust that helped them get elected, but I don't think you should lump all three men into the same category.
There is hope. I don't think Spitzer is unique. His greatest failing is that I think he believed he was above the law. While he was prosecuting Wall Street he believed he could do illegal acts such as this and get away with it.
I think we have three powerful men. Self involved, and for much of the time focused on the sex. Not sure if this is the biology of men, or just men who feel they should be able to have what they want when and how they want it. We have a great president. And two governors.. is the need for sex the driving force or is it a characteristic of powerful driven men. Is this a common characteristic? Don't know... personally. I don't know, and frankly don't have the drive they have to understand where they are coming from.
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