ABSILVER's World

In the movie, Notes from a Scandal, the comment is made to mind the gap. Mind the gap between what your life is as compared to what you dreamed it would be. I think I am minding the gap today.. but the question is how to cross that gap to the life that I want or dream of. The life I am dreaming of is one of happiness and being content. I am afraid at times the gap I am minding at the moment is the life that once was to the one that will or can be. The relationship.. the love.. the work. All of these things change, life changes and the challenge before me is how not to just mind the gap. Not just how to look at the yellow tape of warning, but to cross the gap. Is it to get on a train to a new world and a new life? or is it walk back up the stairs from the platform back to where I was. Truthfully, I have never walked back from the gaps of my life and don't expect to this time. The question is.. is Highland Park on both sides of the GAP? is Fort Lauderdale across the GAP?

Great Question... I found this paper weight in Key West, Florida. When I was on a Leave of Absence. I look at it every morning and wonder. What would Brian do if he could not fail.. and what would that mean? It comes at me from multiple places.. where would I live? What would I do? What would be the value to me and to others? and as I have said many times here, would I be happy. If happiness is a noble goal, and is of itself helpful in becoming more generous to the world around us, then what can Brian's happiness bring? These questions are very focused in my mind, because for me they also center on where I choose to live. I am a very lucky man. My employer, for all practical purposes, does not care where I live. And, as long as I am not living in Savannah, there is really no one who actually cares where I live either. There are friends in Highland Park who I assume would like to see me stay here. Friends and neighbors in Provincetown that would like to see me there more.. A

Life is an adventure.. and our choices as to handle that adventure that defines us. People who live, work, love and die in the same city... People who wonder around in a mobile home, or a houseboat... People who plant their feet like a tree with shallow roots... ready to hop on the next wind that will pick them up an take them to the next place. And... some like myself, look like the latter but are still looking for that place to plant deep roots. Where neither wind, rain, work, nor life changes could make me want to move my home. I am lucky to have lived as an adult in many different cities. But, I wonder if I will ever find a place that I say this is a home. Where when my end on this earth comes that is where it will happen? Each place I have lived has touched me differently. Partly, because of the stage of my life, but also because of their uniqueness. I sit here on a journey back to New Jersey.. first a Ferry from Provincetown.. night in Cambridge and the back home to Jersey t

I usually come to the Blog with thought in mind. Something that has me challenged, or wanting to get something out of my systems. Today is more of a "yawn" day. I spent last week on the run till late Saturday work wise. From NJ, to Dallas, to Denver and back and I am tired. I slept in. Originally was going to head to Ptown this morning and instead I woke up and went back to sleep. So "yawn" days come with rambling thoughts: * Flying this past week was actually quite pleasant until Saturday. The flight attendants and the whole business seemed to go quite smoothly. I am not sure what to say about the state of the airline industry, but American Airlines did a fine job... until Saturday. I connected through Dallas to get home from Denver. Basically, they decided to change equipment for the flight to Newark and postponed the departure from 11:50am till 1pm. What bothered me was there was no communication at all for the reason until we were on the new plane

What am I? Here I sit on the train from Provincetown (Boston) to New York (and then Highland Park). I wonder what the world sees in Brian. I have been through for me a stressful weekend and realize for most this may not have been, or maybe didn't have to be. But, the question is what am I? Responsible? I work hard, and always have. I remember being 14 and my brother and sister were working. I remember so clearly, feeling left out and that I wanted to work and the world said I was too young. I went and volunteered at the library. I remember the job, there was a periodical room and my job was to help readers. They would submit a list of periodicals they wanted and I would go find them through this room and then of course re-shelf them. A few funny anecdotes is that I am called Brian (middle name) but my first name is Aaron. For some reason, I realized there were so many more Brians in the world. And, I had a choice. So, when I went to volunteer at the Library Aaron Si

What does it mean to be family? Is family simply defined by parents? defined by who we live with? defined by marriage? Or is family defined by the safety and love we feel with others? Maybe the definition of family starts out with all of these.. but in the end is more about love. I think in the end.. it comes down to those people that we love unconditionally. That when we think of people that we want in our life, or people that frankly we don't have a choice consciously. Do we like this person? do we love them? do we want them in our life? all of this has to do with people we choose to have in our life. These people tend to end up being transient in my life. That is even if it is for a decade they are in my life, but as I grow and change, they tend to drift away. But, there are some people that choice.. choice to care.. choice to love is not a choice. My parents I love.. if I had a choice I would love them. But, I don't ever remember making a choice to love them. I do remember

That is how my week has been... the last few weeks. Work in Las Vegas was quite great. Good meetings.. productive.. feeling like I was moving the ball forward. Ideas around sales training, and demo equipment for partners were all well received. So, here we go.. great and nice to see other IBM folks face to face that you work with every day. Then.. the week back is a week of great news. IBM earning are up, while pressure on sales and management is up as well. I am not sure if this is a matter of trying to keep the success going, or it is a matter of leveraging hard economic times to make changes at the employment level. IBM is a great company, but there are occasions in the new world where I feel there is added pressure put on employees and this week that extra weight has fallen on my shoulders. So the earnings are like sweet chocolate, but the work and climate are more like a hot pepper. I love my job, and I love my ability to get things done. Partly, because I have worked 20 y