ABSILVER's World

Selling Highland Park for me is like a caterpillar who has to wrap itself in a cocoon and shed its skin to be become a butterfly. This morning I am home, sittin here in Provincetown... I never thought 3 years ago that I was moving home when I bought this condo. I bought it for an escape from New Jersey and to give me a gay escape (and Harry) in the months we were up north. But, Provincetown has a way of working itself under your skin and with a great family here at the condo and new friends all over town, Provincetown slowly became home and Highland Park slowly became a destination to escape when I needed space. So.. it maybe smaller (i.e. how does 2200 go into 310) but it is home and I slept like a baby finally being home last night. This sale has made for a very trying month. Selling real estate, or more to the point being a seller of real estate, is not an easy or pleasant task. Inspections, repairs, permits, lack of permits by town folk that knew what was going on from the be

As I end one phase of my life for another.. as I sell the house in New Jersey I keep trying to reach back to the best memories here. I have memories of finding this house the first day Harry and I started to look for a home we would live in together with Daisy. Moving in... Decorating the house and enjoying creating a magical home together. My mother's birthday party with her (and my) family. Parties.. spring fling last year with Barry Last summer with my niece.. Donna here and in Provincetown. Passover Seders But what I realized tonight is the best memories don't have a date. The best times were spending them with Harry, Daisy and creating a life that just worked. Day to day.. work to work.. walk the dog.. clean the house (ok hire Maria to clean the house). The best times were really days.. and weekends. Walking, eating, cooking and watching silly English comedies on the weekend. So.. as my life moves on I need to remember the best of times don't have a date or an eve

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale, in the middle of Passover, and tomorrow is Easter. Not only is it a lovely day in paradise, but it has been a great day to go walking. And for me walking means thinking.. I start out with the music, listening to Diana Ross, ABBA, Heather Small and others and all of a sudden something catches my mind and the ear buds come out I remember the first MP3 player I had. Was a samsung and I enjoyed it but I realized while focusing on the music I didn't always think and missed those times alone with myself. Today's journey is a journey of religious confusion, and a journey of deciding again what it means to be gay. I keep hearing that conservative factions of my religion andreligions around the world don't hate gay people they just hate the sin of "gay" acts. I assume they mean sex. In other words, it is ok to beattracted to people of the same gender just don't have sex with them. I read the press release from the Orthodox

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale alone... in many ways feeling out of the norm. Odd moments: * In my ex's condo, that we shared while together. Able to see the changes we made together, sitting on the sofa we found together, and even looking at the CD holder my father and uncle put up on the wall for us. * Went out to Java Boys for coffee, and watching the men waking up from a Saturday night of fun. Even though, was out to dinner with fellows, talk about a new TV show.. 5 gay Jewish men out for dinner! OY! * Single, left IBM, with opportunities opening up sooner than I expected and wondering about what, where my future is, and what do I want it to be. * Wondering about what comes next in my life sitting here alone and feeling content with my life today. I sit here not in immediate desire of a husband, and continually challenged when I find a relationship. Successful relationships for me are about balance and equality. Where each is able to support themselves, independent enough

What is peace, happiness and tranquility? I sit here on a flight back to Jersey wondering how to buck the trend and the magnetism of the "Rat Race"? In other words, at the age of 44 and at the end of my career at IBM how do I resist the obvious. How do I resist putting together a star resume, reaching out to friends and trade in one corporate badge for another? As, I sit here after spending a little more than two weeks in Fort Lauderdale, my view on peace and happiness is beginning to change. Is it possible to find a simpler life with work that is more rewarding and not all consuming of time and attention. So many nights at IBM ended and started the same way. Two hands on keyboard chatting, email or analysis focused on IBM instead of falling asleep with me, life, family or love as my focus.No regrets about IBM ... Just want to maintain focus on what is important to ME as I look to the next stage of my life.

From: bsilver@us.ibm.com To: Shalom%IBMUS@us.ibm.com Sent: 2/21/2009 4:57:29 P.M. Eastern Standard TimeSubj: Shalom for now and May you all find Happiness, Health, and Contentment... Friends, Monday marks my last day as an IBM employee. I have seen many excellent short farewell notes lately, but as you all know I have never been known for my brevity of note writing. These changes organizationally I believe are right, and are opening the door for me to explore new opportunities outside of IBM. I started as a Co-Op in college, 24 years ago, in what was a new team focused on Software sales / marketing to help drive hardware sales (at Narional Marketing Division Headquarters in Atlanta). I am ending my career focused on partner sales leadership of another new business model around software appliances (Data Power). Here we are today where change is the norm and these changes I hope will keep IBM and all of you strong for many years to come. Some of my IBM career highlights: * IBM renting ou

My life all of a sudden is about looking for simple.. simple life and happy life. What is life and how to find contentment in a sea of complexity. We live in a great time of uncertainty and how do I navigate this challenging time. Thoughts of the evening 1) Election of Obama as president shows the greatness and evolution of the country I call home. Where just a short time ago, the thought of an African American president was unthinkable. Not only has he been elected, but the country holds its hopes on a new future on him. So, I am amazed at how quickly this country can grow. 2) At the same time... this country voted against my right to marry in three different and diverse states. Voters agreed that gay people should not be able to marry people they love. I have to balance the life of understanding how important it is that Obama was elected with the reality that for now I can not marry someone I love in many of the states of this country. I do feel very lucky to live in the