ABSILVER's World

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale, in the middle of Passover, and tomorrow is Easter. Not only is it a lovely day in paradise, but it has been a great day to go walking. And for me walking means thinking.. I start out with the music, listening to Diana Ross, ABBA, Heather Small and others and all of a sudden something catches my mind and the ear buds come out I remember the first MP3 player I had. Was a samsung and I enjoyed it but I realized while focusing on the music I didn't always think and missed those times alone with myself. Today's journey is a journey of religious confusion, and a journey of deciding again what it means to be gay. I keep hearing that conservative factions of my religion andreligions around the world don't hate gay people they just hate the sin of "gay" acts. I assume they mean sex. In other words, it is ok to beattracted to people of the same gender just don't have sex with them. I read the press release from the Orthodox

I sit here in Fort Lauderdale alone... in many ways feeling out of the norm. Odd moments: * In my ex's condo, that we shared while together. Able to see the changes we made together, sitting on the sofa we found together, and even looking at the CD holder my father and uncle put up on the wall for us. * Went out to Java Boys for coffee, and watching the men waking up from a Saturday night of fun. Even though, was out to dinner with fellows, talk about a new TV show.. 5 gay Jewish men out for dinner! OY! * Single, left IBM, with opportunities opening up sooner than I expected and wondering about what, where my future is, and what do I want it to be. * Wondering about what comes next in my life sitting here alone and feeling content with my life today. I sit here not in immediate desire of a husband, and continually challenged when I find a relationship. Successful relationships for me are about balance and equality. Where each is able to support themselves, independent enough

What is peace, happiness and tranquility? I sit here on a flight back to Jersey wondering how to buck the trend and the magnetism of the "Rat Race"? In other words, at the age of 44 and at the end of my career at IBM how do I resist the obvious. How do I resist putting together a star resume, reaching out to friends and trade in one corporate badge for another? As, I sit here after spending a little more than two weeks in Fort Lauderdale, my view on peace and happiness is beginning to change. Is it possible to find a simpler life with work that is more rewarding and not all consuming of time and attention. So many nights at IBM ended and started the same way. Two hands on keyboard chatting, email or analysis focused on IBM instead of falling asleep with me, life, family or love as my focus.No regrets about IBM ... Just want to maintain focus on what is important to ME as I look to the next stage of my life.

From: bsilver@us.ibm.com To: Shalom%IBMUS@us.ibm.com Sent: 2/21/2009 4:57:29 P.M. Eastern Standard TimeSubj: Shalom for now and May you all find Happiness, Health, and Contentment... Friends, Monday marks my last day as an IBM employee. I have seen many excellent short farewell notes lately, but as you all know I have never been known for my brevity of note writing. These changes organizationally I believe are right, and are opening the door for me to explore new opportunities outside of IBM. I started as a Co-Op in college, 24 years ago, in what was a new team focused on Software sales / marketing to help drive hardware sales (at Narional Marketing Division Headquarters in Atlanta). I am ending my career focused on partner sales leadership of another new business model around software appliances (Data Power). Here we are today where change is the norm and these changes I hope will keep IBM and all of you strong for many years to come. Some of my IBM career highlights: * IBM renting ou

My life all of a sudden is about looking for simple.. simple life and happy life. What is life and how to find contentment in a sea of complexity. We live in a great time of uncertainty and how do I navigate this challenging time. Thoughts of the evening 1) Election of Obama as president shows the greatness and evolution of the country I call home. Where just a short time ago, the thought of an African American president was unthinkable. Not only has he been elected, but the country holds its hopes on a new future on him. So, I am amazed at how quickly this country can grow. 2) At the same time... this country voted against my right to marry in three different and diverse states. Voters agreed that gay people should not be able to marry people they love. I have to balance the life of understanding how important it is that Obama was elected with the reality that for now I can not marry someone I love in many of the states of this country. I do feel very lucky to live in the

I sit here this morning contemplating the future. IBM just went through a round of lay offs, IBM calls them resource actions, and today I am safe. But many people are not. They have 30 days to find another position at IBM or they are summarily shown the door. When I started at IBM, there was a promise of full employment. Which translated to having a job till retirement and no lay offs. I think this was a bad idea. The branch I started in had many employees that were obviously watching the clock wind down. Then in the late 80's early 90's IBM went through hard times. And the first rounds of layoffs started. In those days, they would rank the branch of employees and wait for a call on Monday. What was the number and if you were above the line you were safe and below the line you were gone. The buyouts and support were quite generous compared to today, and if you were close to retirement you could bridge to retirement. I know some folks who bridged to retirement and are

Here I sit with a view of the bay in Provincetown. Working, and watching time pass by. Provincetown has lost its urgency of summer, but not yet fallen into its deep winter time sleep. In the middle of peace, and hard work... the financial crisis hits home a little. A co-worker asked me if I had looked at my 401K lately.. and of course I had not. I have read you invest for the long term, and at 43 I won't be touching that money for a while any way. But curiousity got the best of me, and yes as everyone else it is down a fair amount from the start of the year. I remind myself that what I should appreciate is how many more shares these funds are buying and when the market turns so will my 401k. I should pay more attention, but I don't want to be a study of money. Maybe if I was I would be a Warrent Buffet or a Suzy Orman maybe? But, I don't want to dedicate the time and so I let these funds that are supposed to be experts manage it for me. They say younger folks sho