ABSILVER's World

My life all of a sudden is about looking for simple.. simple life and happy life. What is life and how to find contentment in a sea of complexity. We live in a great time of uncertainty and how do I navigate this challenging time. Thoughts of the evening 1) Election of Obama as president shows the greatness and evolution of the country I call home. Where just a short time ago, the thought of an African American president was unthinkable. Not only has he been elected, but the country holds its hopes on a new future on him. So, I am amazed at how quickly this country can grow. 2) At the same time... this country voted against my right to marry in three different and diverse states. Voters agreed that gay people should not be able to marry people they love. I have to balance the life of understanding how important it is that Obama was elected with the reality that for now I can not marry someone I love in many of the states of this country. I do feel very lucky to live in the ...

I sit here this morning contemplating the future. IBM just went through a round of lay offs, IBM calls them resource actions, and today I am safe. But many people are not. They have 30 days to find another position at IBM or they are summarily shown the door. When I started at IBM, there was a promise of full employment. Which translated to having a job till retirement and no lay offs. I think this was a bad idea. The branch I started in had many employees that were obviously watching the clock wind down. Then in the late 80's early 90's IBM went through hard times. And the first rounds of layoffs started. In those days, they would rank the branch of employees and wait for a call on Monday. What was the number and if you were above the line you were safe and below the line you were gone. The buyouts and support were quite generous compared to today, and if you were close to retirement you could bridge to retirement. I know some folks who bridged to retirement and are...

Here I sit with a view of the bay in Provincetown. Working, and watching time pass by. Provincetown has lost its urgency of summer, but not yet fallen into its deep winter time sleep. In the middle of peace, and hard work... the financial crisis hits home a little. A co-worker asked me if I had looked at my 401K lately.. and of course I had not. I have read you invest for the long term, and at 43 I won't be touching that money for a while any way. But curiousity got the best of me, and yes as everyone else it is down a fair amount from the start of the year. I remind myself that what I should appreciate is how many more shares these funds are buying and when the market turns so will my 401k. I should pay more attention, but I don't want to be a study of money. Maybe if I was I would be a Warrent Buffet or a Suzy Orman maybe? But, I don't want to dedicate the time and so I let these funds that are supposed to be experts manage it for me. They say younger folks sho...

What I would have wanted to know when I was 19. 1. Life is not a sprint .. Or a series of races but is a marathon.Life is a long journey and it is a choice to approach it as a series of sprints with short disconnected races. People only see today and don't see the consequences of their actions beyond today. It limits ability to build security, and causes sacrifices of long term happiness.I approach life as a marathon. A long journey, lots of changes of scenery, and an ability to build long term stability and happiness. Making sure to look for happiness along the way. 2. Financial independence is a key ( not the only key ) to happiness and contentment. How much money is required depends on your desires, but money is a key to independence and self determination. 3. Friends come and go in you life. Even the best of friends will ebb from your life, especially if you keep changing. The key is to enjoy them, and understand this reality. 4. Openness to change is another key to stabilit...

Where do I fit in? Am I a nice southern man, living up north? I don't feel too southern these days. I know my roots are in Savannah, GA but I must confess to feeling more an affinity to the northeast these days. Am I a New Yorker? I may live in Jersey, but I bet most of the people living around me identify with New York. I love New York. I enjoy the city, the shows, the sights, but not sure I would fit the definition. As I look to people in New York, the speed, the drive the desire the constant activity.. I don't think I fit. Am I a Ptown Townie? I love Provincetown , and the more I am here the more home it feels. But, I don't work here. I work when here, but seems like at times to be a townie and true local you need to work here. You need to earn a living based on the soil or town. I am not an artist, and don't think I have an artist's temperament . So.. although every day I feel more at home.. not sure I fit in. Am I a gay bear? I am hairy. I like...

I wonder about home.. and homes again. I seem fixated on this topic of late. Where should my home be? and what constitutes home. We have a study in contrast at the moment. One home.. is small, social, with plenty of new friends nearby. Accepting, intellectual, and much to be desired I think. One home.. is a nice house. Great neighborhood, and great location. But, only has really one friend nearby. And, has memories... of lives past. Then there maybe a future home.. not sure where or when that will materialize. Are memories an albatross bringing me down? or are they a link to my future? time will tell.

I sit here on the morning of June 29 th , my 19 year old niece up stairs and I am wondering about my life's future. She is bright, confident, and growing up to be a charming young lady. I argued with her Mom about this actually. She is here for the summer working, almost a senior at UGA already, and her Mom said she was sending a teenager to me. I denied that and said she was an adult. I must confess to having some stress over this conversation. If she were not an adult, and were going to live here for the summer, I would not have been a happy person. Part of the reason for her being here, is so I can go to Provincetown and have someone looking after house and home. So having my car, and home being watched after by a teenager as compared to an adult would have made me nervous. I also remembered being 19, and had just gotten the co-oping job with IBM. So, I didn't remember thinking of myself as a teenager. Here I was living in Atlanta, working, and as previously post...