What do you get a man as he turns 60?

 

I typically avoid publishing my birthday. 

Thanksgiving birthdays are easy to ignore, and especially at an older age, I am fine with ignored birthdays.  I usually spend most of the days ahead of my birthday, asking people not to mention it on Facebook or anywhere else. 

However, turning 60 feels like a moment to share. 

In fact,  turning 60 feels odd. There is no way I can consider myself middle-aged anymore.  I can't imagine living to 120 or wanting to, to be honest.  I feel good, walk about 25 miles weekly, and feel strong.  Just a reality that life is progressing, and my life is changing.  I think people who say age is just a number are delusional and or are young.

I have some thoughts and ideas to share about lessons learned in the brief 60 years I have been on this planet. 

• If you are happy and content in your life, then accept all the good and bad in your life up to this moment.  Without those experiences, you would not have today.  I am lucky to have a few regrets, but even if you do, remember that if you are happy in your life, they contribute to your feeling of happiness and contentment. 

• Seriously, whether you are happy or not, embrace therapy to help you understand the past and deal with the future.  It made all the difference in my life, and I wish I had done it sooner, even back in college.  It not only helped me adjust to life challenges, it helped build my own self-esteem and confidence.  The challenge is to find the right therapist.

• Never assume what makes you happy, content, or sad is the same for others. We all beat to our own drum and expectations.  If you follow this rule, it also eliminates petty competitiveness with others. We would all benefit from this understanding as too many people assume we all are looking for the same things to be happy.  It also will help minimize assumptions and judgments of people who are not like us or living as we have chosen in our own lives.

• If you surround yourself with people who are only like you, you will not grow beyond who you are today.  It gets easier and easier in this life with Social Media and other online communities to be surrounded only by those who agree, act, and believe as you do.  The beauty of the world lies in our differences.  Imagine if all the paintings in the world looked like van Gogh.  It might be beautiful, but it would be much nicer to run into the occasional Picasso.

• Education is to fuel the mind, not just build skills to increase your bank account.  The more you read, explore, and go to school, the more open your mind will be and make it easier to adjust to changes in the world and life.  If you take a variety of classes, learn new philosophies, and even understand more about history and science, you will have an open mind and be able to adjust, accept, and thrive in a world that is constantly changing.

• Smartness, intellect, and learning do not require a formal education.  One of the smartest people I know didn't go to college.  However, his education comes from experience, reading, and an innate knowledge and understanding of our world.  Formal education may have smoothed some of those rougher edges that may be where his creativity, talent, and heart are.

• Travel is good for the soul.  Even if it is to go to a town in the next county, understanding how others live their lives differently is healthy.  If you have the luxury of traveling more across this country and worldwide, do it.  You will see people living differently, with different customs and gestures, and you will see many have found happiness in lives that are distinctly different from your own.

• Keep an open mind, but if you don't like something, don't do it.  If you don't like to eat something, like tomatoes, don't eat them, or don't want to drink something, like tea, then just say no.   If you don't like to ride roller coasters, that's good. You can hold everyone's coats that are riding.  There is no value in being a martyr.

Finally, you can't change others nor expect others to adjust their lives to your likes and dislikes.

What do you give me, as I turn 60, a picture as a reminder of good times!  Thanks, Frank!