Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can kill! Are you listening?

Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can kill!

I sit here on Tuesday morning.. in between moments at work I watched Anderson Cooper share the names and some of the information about the victims of Sunday mornings horrific attack.  One name after another, of people from 18 and on, who were in a club having fun in what they believed was an accepting and safe place.

I then scroll through Facebook and see Pat Robertson says “Orlando Shooting Is God’s Punishment For SCOTUS’ Same-Sex Marriage Ruling”.  I see a video of Christian pastor calls Orlando massacre good news because 50 faggots died.  Orthodox Jew Posts Facebook Rant Celebrating Orlando Massacre: If An Arab Did This, Good For Him.  I see the link to the LT Governor of Texas quoting the bible about Reap what you Sow.

And these words scare me not just for what they say about us today but about the children who are listening.

They hear the words in their father's voice about don't play with dolls and be a "sissy".  Your daughter hears the words about her "short" hair cut and not looking feminine.  They hear their minister or Rabbi talk about the sin of homosexuality.  They sit and listen to the words from the State of North Carolina that it is ok to be gay or trans gendered and be discriminated against.  They hear the jokes around the house about gays and the negative comments. And yes, the children listen, as they do when we denigrate other religions, races, genders and nationalities.

As the song says "Children will listen" they learn from our behavior and words, not just what we tell them.  A Child already knows they are different.  A child who know they are gay and queer and that all they hear is how bad it is, how evil their love is, who is told they will got to hell for being who they are born to be.  They hear you, and repeatedly and most sadly they start to believe you.  They believe the Rabbi, Minister or other religious leaders who continually tell them that they are less that the rest of humanity.  That what and who they are, and who they love, makes them bad, evil and a sinner.  Yes they hear you.

In some cases, these words are so extreme that they react violently to attacking other gay people.  Whether it is literally on the streets of a city, or a night club, politically on the floor of congress, and sometimes dare I say often in that child or later in life adult kill themselves instead of facing their own identity as they know there is something wrong and they don't deserve to live or be loved.  Yes, suicide rates among gay kids is higher but I also continually see around me those "mature" adults who could never love themselves enough to counter the self-hate they were taught over the years.

So, as we react to Orlando in fear.  As we sit around the table and talk about a gay club, the homophobia inherent in this terrible terrorist attack on American lives, be careful how you describe the victims. Watch Anderson Cooper and realize they were Americans and free people who happen to be gay who were murdered in what they believed was a safe place where they believed they could be out, safe and accepted because many of them are not at home, are not accepted at work, at church and dare I say in the media.  They needed somewhere to be safe around other gay people which in the end made them a target of hate and a mass terrorist’s act of such horror and in that moment their safe haven was taken away as well.

This is not just a gay issue.  Although this struck my gay nerves, but we need to remember this when we think of anyone different from ourselves.

Yes, Love is Love but dare I say Hate is Hate regardless.

And yes, as we are seeing time and time again in this country, words don't just hurt us.  They don't just hurt our hearts.  But in the wrong hands they can kill.  They can get others killed or they can end up in someone taking their own life after hearing how sinful and bad they are for how they were born and who they love.

So, as you discuss these tragedies, see who may be listening?  Are you listening?