801 ... 648 .. 79… or Not
801 ... 648 .. 79… Not
These numbers will mean something... by the end of this blog. At least they do to me which is a point of this randomness or lack there of this morning.
I sit here on the wall at the beach which ends up being 648 days after I made the decision to walk at the beach in Fort Lauderdale as many mornings as I could. I remember the beginning, as I went to Stork's and got my favorite scone and coffee and drove to the beach. I remember parking the car and thinking how far could I walk before I ate the scone. That morning I realized these were contrary goals. Walking for exercise with a scone and latte at hand didn't make any sense. So, I dropped the scone but the lattes continued. In great Brian fashion I started to build it into a routine. Stop at storks ... Latte in hand.. Park at Sebastian lot and see how far I could walk and how cool the coffee would get. Then I started to think my arms weren't getting any exercise so I bought a pair of two lb hand weights. I built a routine on my mind so I could build some muscle in my arms. Fast forward 648 days later and am up to 5 miles and 8 lb. weights. I changed my parking lot and even have fought the need to park in the same space every day, and now I do coffee at home after the walk. So, some change but I like to structure routine in a place where it is not a compelling need.
Some observations, I am getting up earlier in the summer as I like the sunrise and frankly it is cooler. After 7:30 it is getting too warm. I love the beach, the waves in the ocean, and watching the variety of people I see. There are the vacationers, depending on age, are either up early or still up to see the sunrise. I love the picture and frankly smile that I get to do this 4 or 5 days a week. There is an unusual hierarchy of people. There are those that are runners or joggers they are determined. They believe they are the most serious about exercise and even if you are walking quickly with 8 lbs of weights in your hand, they believe in their superiority and you should know to get out of there way even if they are behind y'all. Even speed walkers can fit neatly in the same category. Next, are cyclists, who are generally very generous in their space and accommodate those of us who wind up in the bike lane because the inline skaters are enjoying the beach sidewalk? If you are an inline enthusiast I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but you need to be in the bike lane. They tend to take up the whole sidewalk in their swaying movements. (We won't bother with those who bike on the sidewalk, nor the over 50 skateboarders).
I enjoy the mornings and even that occasional smile from others. You can see the grumpy people who are not up for being up this early. The person who had to walk out of the hotel to grab that first cigarette in the morning. The person who seems more that necessarily elated when they find a Starbucks waiting for them. The few homeless people who are slowly setting up a home on the beach, and seem to get encouraged to move on as they aren’t there every morning. Or, the one fellow, obviously hard on his luck who is sitting and sleeping on wall between the sidewalk and the beach that I wave to and wonder what I could possibly do that would be of help and hope that my fleeting smile is something.
It has been 801 days since I left IBM. I haven't woken up, but a few mornings, and wondered if I made the right choice. I do respect IBM. I do admire my colleagues and frankly still have very good friends there. I do wonder how over 26 years with IBM caused this innate need to put structure to my walks. The need to build a pattern of my exercise. The need to want to park in the same spot. This need seems to have found itself into odd places including my weekend in NYC. I remember setting a goal that I would be at Murray's by noon on the Friday I arrived. I hoofed it as quickly as I could, and would have made it if I didn't see the toothpaste that had made it on my shirt. I stopped to get some shout wipes to try and clean it up and as I rushed away from Duane Read I realized how silly I was being. The only person who would care or know I was late for the bagel was me. (I made in by 12:13 and resisted taking a picture of the clock as evidence.) The idea of keeping a structure to things in my life seems to be a compelling need, not some overwhelming need, but still a focus.
It has now been 79 days since I left full time work at iSOA Group. I am doing some selling in the Carolina's (thanks Sandy) and some marketing consulting. (Thanks Renee) but, I am trying to break the routine in my mind. This idea that there needs to be a start, a clear time to end, and focus on the next step as valuable as it is in my work life I need to disconnect it from my personal or at least try to relax a little more.
By spending a month in Key West, NYC, and even trying not to park in the same spot at the beach every morning. Or, to just breathe and see what happens to my inner peace when I don’t have all this structure to fall back on.
These numbers will mean something... by the end of this blog. At least they do to me which is a point of this randomness or lack there of this morning.
I sit here on the wall at the beach which ends up being 648 days after I made the decision to walk at the beach in Fort Lauderdale as many mornings as I could. I remember the beginning, as I went to Stork's and got my favorite scone and coffee and drove to the beach. I remember parking the car and thinking how far could I walk before I ate the scone. That morning I realized these were contrary goals. Walking for exercise with a scone and latte at hand didn't make any sense. So, I dropped the scone but the lattes continued. In great Brian fashion I started to build it into a routine. Stop at storks ... Latte in hand.. Park at Sebastian lot and see how far I could walk and how cool the coffee would get. Then I started to think my arms weren't getting any exercise so I bought a pair of two lb hand weights. I built a routine on my mind so I could build some muscle in my arms. Fast forward 648 days later and am up to 5 miles and 8 lb. weights. I changed my parking lot and even have fought the need to park in the same space every day, and now I do coffee at home after the walk. So, some change but I like to structure routine in a place where it is not a compelling need. I enjoy the mornings and even that occasional smile from others. You can see the grumpy people who are not up for being up this early. The person who had to walk out of the hotel to grab that first cigarette in the morning. The person who seems more that necessarily elated when they find a Starbucks waiting for them. The few homeless people who are slowly setting up a home on the beach, and seem to get encouraged to move on as they aren’t there every morning. Or, the one fellow, obviously hard on his luck who is sitting and sleeping on wall between the sidewalk and the beach that I wave to and wonder what I could possibly do that would be of help and hope that my fleeting smile is something.
It has been 801 days since I left IBM. I haven't woken up, but a few mornings, and wondered if I made the right choice. I do respect IBM. I do admire my colleagues and frankly still have very good friends there. I do wonder how over 26 years with IBM caused this innate need to put structure to my walks. The need to build a pattern of my exercise. The need to want to park in the same spot. This need seems to have found itself into odd places including my weekend in NYC. I remember setting a goal that I would be at Murray's by noon on the Friday I arrived. I hoofed it as quickly as I could, and would have made it if I didn't see the toothpaste that had made it on my shirt. I stopped to get some shout wipes to try and clean it up and as I rushed away from Duane Read I realized how silly I was being. The only person who would care or know I was late for the bagel was me. (I made in by 12:13 and resisted taking a picture of the clock as evidence.) The idea of keeping a structure to things in my life seems to be a compelling need, not some overwhelming need, but still a focus.It has now been 79 days since I left full time work at iSOA Group. I am doing some selling in the Carolina's (thanks Sandy) and some marketing consulting. (Thanks Renee) but, I am trying to break the routine in my mind. This idea that there needs to be a start, a clear time to end, and focus on the next step as valuable as it is in my work life I need to disconnect it from my personal or at least try to relax a little more.
By spending a month in Key West, NYC, and even trying not to park in the same spot at the beach every morning. Or, to just breathe and see what happens to my inner peace when I don’t have all this structure to fall back on.
Comments