Imagine a Moment in Time

I am imagining a moment in time this morning. 

I sit here at the Starbucks watching the ocean blend into the cloudy sky.  Most mornings the sun rises and peaks through a cloud.   This amazing moment and I get to watch it and enjoy it often. 

The other night, I witnessed from my own window the emergence of a lovely full moon.  A small shade of sun still radiating through the clouds and turning the moon slightly orange.

Both moments make me realize how lucky I am and amazing Mother Nature can be.   I love watching the visitors taking a picture of the sun as if this is a spectacular moment.  Frankly, they are right, I just get to experience it often. Amazing we hear about amazing sunsets but rarely about the wonder of a sunrise. 

The only catch, and maybe the reason, you have to get up early to catch the sunrise.  This morning I was up way early. So, walk completed, rain started, and time for coffee.

I keep thinking about moments in time where life changes.  Sometimes in my walks I start to think too deeply and change the music and lighten my mood.  Today Pat Benatar wasn't able to keep me from wondering if I am experiencing a moment of change and how to experience it.

I feel to some degree, like a caterpillar in a cocoon.   Wonder at what point does the caterpillar realize it is growing a pair of wings.  That it realizes there is a new body emerging.  Maybe the caterpillar is in some

state of hibernation and doesn't realize it is changing at all.   All of a sudden, due to some moment it emerges from a cocoon.   It is a comparable safe place that cocoon.  I imagine it has lost most of its siblings by this

point, they have perished.   Eaten by birds, other insects, of a victim of a child's experiments under a microscope. Against all odds this caterpillar emerges and it is no longer what it was.  It is now a new being with wings, different shape, and different head.  I wonder about the moment those wings flutter and it flys away.

Now the practical side of me doesn't think the caterpillar experiences this the way we would.  Mother Nature has programmed its DNA and this all happens instinctually.   The world operates and it emerges based on a series of actions that the caterpillar does.  It can't choose to stay a caterpillar.  It doesn't start this change due to some psychological desire to change but it changes.  Does the moth or butterfly have any sense of presence to remember it was a caterpillar ?  I doubt I will ever know that answer. 

All that said, I am and have been making some serious changes to my life.  Changed where I live, work, and smile.  What if this is about my new wings of change.  Feeling my new wings earned by hard work, integrity and a renewed focus on me.

A great friend this week said I lived to work, and for many years work was my life.  I have written before that work has been a safe haven for me.  I can, I do, try, and have been able to excel in my life's path.  Her comment was she sees me learning to work to live and work is no longer my cocoon.

Maybe that is the reason for my unrest of late.  My cocoon is changing and my safe place is my home, family and life.   Work is enjoyable and maybe the sincerity of the friends I work with is helping me see the change is good.

I need to learn to lift my foot from the platform and jump on the train and see where it and I are going.

I dare to be different if not even a little odd at times, so i have been told recently.   I wear my oddness and  intend to continue to enjoy my differences and see where these wings are meant to guide me.

Thanks for being part of my journey.