ABSILVER's World

I usually come to the Blog with thought in mind. Something that has me challenged, or wanting to get something out of my systems. Today is more of a "yawn" day. I spent last week on the run till late Saturday work wise. From NJ, to Dallas, to Denver and back and I am tired. I slept in. Originally was going to head to Ptown this morning and instead I woke up and went back to sleep. So "yawn" days come with rambling thoughts: * Flying this past week was actually quite pleasant until Saturday. The flight attendants and the whole business seemed to go quite smoothly. I am not sure what to say about the state of the airline industry, but American Airlines did a fine job... until Saturday. I connected through Dallas to get home from Denver. Basically, they decided to change equipment for the flight to Newark and postponed the departure from 11:50am till 1pm. What bothered me was there was no communication at all for the reason until we were on the new plane ...

What am I? Here I sit on the train from Provincetown (Boston) to New York (and then Highland Park). I wonder what the world sees in Brian. I have been through for me a stressful weekend and realize for most this may not have been, or maybe didn't have to be. But, the question is what am I? Responsible? I work hard, and always have. I remember being 14 and my brother and sister were working. I remember so clearly, feeling left out and that I wanted to work and the world said I was too young. I went and volunteered at the library. I remember the job, there was a periodical room and my job was to help readers. They would submit a list of periodicals they wanted and I would go find them through this room and then of course re-shelf them. A few funny anecdotes is that I am called Brian (middle name) but my first name is Aaron. For some reason, I realized there were so many more Brians in the world. And, I had a choice. So, when I went to volunteer at the Library Aaron Si...

What does it mean to be family? Is family simply defined by parents? defined by who we live with? defined by marriage? Or is family defined by the safety and love we feel with others? Maybe the definition of family starts out with all of these.. but in the end is more about love. I think in the end.. it comes down to those people that we love unconditionally. That when we think of people that we want in our life, or people that frankly we don't have a choice consciously. Do we like this person? do we love them? do we want them in our life? all of this has to do with people we choose to have in our life. These people tend to end up being transient in my life. That is even if it is for a decade they are in my life, but as I grow and change, they tend to drift away. But, there are some people that choice.. choice to care.. choice to love is not a choice. My parents I love.. if I had a choice I would love them. But, I don't ever remember making a choice to love them. I do remember ...

That is how my week has been... the last few weeks. Work in Las Vegas was quite great. Good meetings.. productive.. feeling like I was moving the ball forward. Ideas around sales training, and demo equipment for partners were all well received. So, here we go.. great and nice to see other IBM folks face to face that you work with every day. Then.. the week back is a week of great news. IBM earning are up, while pressure on sales and management is up as well. I am not sure if this is a matter of trying to keep the success going, or it is a matter of leveraging hard economic times to make changes at the employment level. IBM is a great company, but there are occasions in the new world where I feel there is added pressure put on employees and this week that extra weight has fallen on my shoulders. So the earnings are like sweet chocolate, but the work and climate are more like a hot pepper. I love my job, and I love my ability to get things done. Partly, because I have worked 20 y...

I wonder what it all means. I have been working for IBM more than 20 years. At the height of my career, according to some, I had 15 people reporting to me. Two of those 15 are now executives, and one was just promoted to Vice President. All I can think of is how lucky I feel. I know I am supposed to be ambitious , e and I feel quite confident if I had chosen a different path their choices could be mine. They are married. With children, and have obligations in their life I will never have. They also happen to be somewhat younger than I am. But, I sit here wondering what it is all about. Is it about money? is it about taking better care of their own family? Is it about proving things to others? And if it is about these things, what happened to me. I have a good life. Two homes I am proud of, but on a scale of most I am not a rich man. I am just me. The idea of the drive and time that their jobs require. The ultimate pressure to get ahead. To see what others want, the po...

Here I sit in New Jersey, on the beginning of a journey. It is rainy and chilly.. and yet there are touches of spring all around. Warmer afternoons but the evenings and mornings are still chilly. Highland Park is beginning to feel more and more like home. Which is a good thing, but at the same time I have a yearning. I have not been to Provincetown since January. Which for me is an eternity. For those of you who don't know me.. 2 years ago in March I decided I wanted a place in Provincetown. If I could find something within my budget. Harry and I had broken up, and I missed the feeling of gay community in Florida. I also had always enjoyed Provincetown. We always seemed to go for 5 days and stay a day or two more. My first time in Provincetown is quite interesting. I had a 58 year old boy friend who was an English Professor and Opera singer and we did a road trip between Boston and Provincetown I think. I remember spending one night in a roadside motel. He didn't want to plan e...

What happens when the world around you looks like a whirl wind, and you feel that you could be the calm in the center: * The presidential election is all a turmoil. Should Hillary give in to the party and allow Obama to gain the nomination? Or should she follow her gut and her heart? Is she running just to continue to raise funds to pay back her loan? all of this seems to be possibilities. And, all I can say is I have passion for her being elected but with each passing day my interest in a truly important election year is declining. * Brother moves to Milwaukee, and does not have things settled back in Savannah where he still has a house and a mortgage. And, his job seems to be less than secure. So, I wonder what is next and realize there is not much I can or should do about it. His choices in life would not be mine, and certainly I was not asked for my input either. * The economy is showing signs of strain and recession. Certainly is true in the state of New Jersey where th...