ABSILVER's World

Lately, I have been thinking of what it means to be happy. I at times in my life have looked for an audience, family, friends, co-workers to all stand up and applaud. Thinking that their acceptance and acknowledgement would make me happy by acknowledging my happiness. I also have always had this inner self that watched others, and observed them to see if I wanted to switch lives with anyone. Not to be jealous, but to see if there were qualities or things in their lives that I wanted to emulate and would help mine. Truthfully, I have met one person in my life that I would want to switch with.. and only for a day and that is my ex, Harry. His mind works in such contrast to mine. Feelings and Creativity rule his thought process, and mine has grown up in this school and corporate mode to analyze and deliver that living in his mind I wonder if I could find hidden strength. I have learned thanks to him to just have confidence at times that things will be OK . I used to stress ou...

I am Jewish, Gay male that was born and raised in Savannah, GA. Through a series of changes in life, I now live in two places, Highland Park, NJ and Provincetown , MA. in 1964, I was born in Savannah, GA. The youngest child of three children who were born almost exactly two years apart. Looking back, it was an ideal childhood. With grandparents around the corner, aunts, uncles and cousins all within a few miles. I had a Granny and Grandpa who were very loving, strong willed, and frankly had a tendency to be the first adults I can remember that treated me like an adult. I also grew up in a nice southern Jewish community where the largest of the three synagogues was Orthodox. (surprise) I also remember the emphasis among the families and community was around the synagogue and around money. How much money you had or didn't first came apparent to me when Disney World opened. I remember not being part of the group of kids that went. I don't remember feeling bad about it, but I do r...

This is my first post.. and due to some comments and encouragement I am going to try.. and create an ABSILVER Blog.. My Blog is about Brian, and about my exploration of life at a pivotal time. I have a good job, and am single for the first time in over 12 years. Where does Brian go from here? Why ABSILVER ? Because in the early days of computer world and email.. ID's could only be 8 characters. So almost as long as I have had a name .. ABSILVER has been how I have been recognized in the world of email. Who is Brian Silverman ? Gay male? Jewish? Work for IBM? Georgia Boy? New Jersey Man? Provincetown , MA Man Not sure.. my goal in life as an adult is to live an honest life. Honest with others and myself. So the answer, is some combination of the above is who I am today. My other goal in life is to value happiness. I don't believe society values or understands the importance of being happy. I believe happiness opens our hearts to being more generous and also to adding positi...