There are roads less taken in this world.

There are roads less taken in this world.  I find, in my life, that has tended to be my path.


I sit here this morning in Fort Lauderdale, looking at fogged over windows because I keep the AC on way cold at night, and this is a sign that summer and its humidity is truly here.   Looking around the condo, that started as my home in early 2011 and in a city, I have called home since 1992 I know the dauntless task of packing begins.

Except for a few years in the mid 2000’s I have had part of my life and much of my heart in Fort Lauderdale for 27 years and in this building for 25 of those years.  Along the way have shared my home with others, dogs and split lives with New York, New Jersey and Provincetown but always had my foundation here in Fort Lauderdale and in this building.

I sit here, with more coffee, after going to Home Depot for moving boxes, tape, and markers to put off the start of packing, and another sign that we are moving away to Austin, TX.   311 is under contract, the inspection and appraisal went off without a hitch, and the closing date is as set as can be currently for June 26th.

I wonder since I have lived in 303, 304 and 311 why could I have not done something a little less radical like move to the second floor.  😊  We sat here contemplating other moves including Seattle, Tallahassee, Savannah and even Asheville, NC but have settled with Frank and Miss Belle to move to Austin, Texas.

Doesn’t mean this chore of packing is easy, and not sure it ever is, but I have done this a few times more than most in my life.  I moved three times just in the New York Area, and 311 is really my fourth Florida home, but this move includes feelings of love, optimism fear and the occasional tear, as well.


I created in unit 311, Camelot Shores,  a fortress that was my creation and protected me from personal and financial chaos while bringing happiness and joy.  I remember after one failed romance, going out and buying new bedroom furniture that would raise up my view so I could wake up watching the water flow down the river because he didn’t like looking out the window, or having the blinds open all night to be woken up at the first dawn of light and sounds of birds on the river.  Even as we sleep with the blinds closed these days, I still wake myself up early, many days around 4:30AM without an alarm, to catch the sunrise on my own and many times at the Beach. 



It is hard to imagine it has been six years, since I was the remodeling and reminding myself, each step of the way, that this is my creation and if I don’t like it look in the mirror.  Choosing cabinets, floors, paint colors and even moving a few doors to gain more closet space.  And, speaking of mirrors, I remember shopping for a mirror for the master bath and finding it in a door mirror at Pier 1 with Christian.  I remember knowing the appliances I wanted to buy and having my patience rewarded as I walked into a Sears to find out they were 50% off for a day.  This kitchen has hosted numerous parties, from Thanksgiving and Christmas with Jack, to parties with the three amigos, and simple dinners on the porch.  The large granite counter tops have seen me try to make matzo, pita bread, monster lasagnas, numerous briskets, stuffed cabbage, chicken soup, lately beef short ribs and even seen failed attempts that including shaving my thumb with a mandolin and few less successful dishes that will stay secret.

25 years is a long time, and yet it feels like a short time, to me to have been around this same building which has grown to be a community and family.   I remember moving into 303 and the sellers removed all the nobs and shower heads from the condominium while I was at the closing.   I remodeled that kitchen just in time to move to New York to become a snowbird.    I will also never forget sitting at the Ramrod the day Hurricane Floyd was to hit realizing that it might just hit the house outside of NYC and it did.

I love my condominium here, but over the last few weeks it is slowly ebbing away as my home, it is time to move to another city, grow and evolve as a person and a family.

It isn’t easy leaving Fort Lauderdale.  I have had my first loves here.  I came out here.  I met the two longest relationships of my life here, and dare I say some of the sweetest dogs which oddly enough shared the name Daisy.

I bought my first home here.  Broke up with Art, Brian, Ross, Brad, Steve. oh well not all my life in Fort Lauderdale was a success and have friends that had my back through all the permutations of life and relationships.

Fort Lauderdale has grown from being a mid-point destination in South Florida, for people wanting to visit Miami and or West Palm Beach to its own destination.  Great scenery, homes, restaurants, and flowers that are so vibrant they say take a picture of me because you can’t paint any way!  It is more of a working world than a vacation one as it was when I arrived.   When I arrived, which was 27 years ago, the beach was full of older hotels, there were a few good restaurants such as East City Grill (long gone) and Casablanca.    There were many gay bars, but looking back they were all mostly hidden from view.  There was a bar called the Hide Away which was nondescript, and there were others that were slightly off the beaten path, but they were where it was possible to be gay safely as one would slowly open and remove the door from one’s own closet.

Today, Wilton Manors sits in the middle of the Fort Lauderdale community, and all around are gay bars comfortable in their display of gay pride flags as they compete for the different men and women walking the drive.  There used to be a few restaurants, who remembers Chardee’s food was good but made you feel young no matter your true age.  Now, there are good restaurants like Ethos, Rosies and we still think the wings at the Alibi are hard to beat.

Fort Lauderdale, and Wilton Manors passed a long time ago non-discrimination policies protective diversity of all in our community making us feel comfortable here even in this time of renewed division and fear in our country.

I have some of my longest and dearest friends here, Cecilia who moved here with IBM before me and became not only a good friend but also a protector of my heart when she felt I needed it.   She also happened to be the first person I came out to, at probably the longest lunch at an Olive Garden in history.  She was around for the end of relationships, helped end one, and will be in my life wherever I live!  In keeping tradition, we helped close down brunch at Sea Watch recently.

There are three amigos who also happened to not only become trusted friends, but happened to be around a few gone bad relationships, and magically traveled to Ptown to stay in a 310 sq foot condominium and not feel claustrophobic. 

I met Jack who is smart, and charming, and probably forgot our one date to Rosie’s.  He became my roommate for a while, and seems to always be in the right place when my career was going through changes or I needed an ear. 

There are recent friends, with Frank, that feel like family including Ken and George.  Along with Pat and Bill, keep reminding us how lucky we are here and how wonderful life can be.

So, why move at all? 

Frank has been itching to move since he sold his house, and would like to live closer to his family.   Professionally for me, Austin is not just the capital of Texas, home to the University of Texas, but also is an IT center in the country with Dell, IBM and others as anchors to the diversity of professional opportunity.  So, the professional opportunity and a happy family is a good reason to move.





I am 52, if I don’t shake my life up now I never will.  I see people, a good bit older than me, that seem to be content and comfortable but honestly, I am not content being comfortable for too long and it is time to make a change.

Texas maybe a red state, but Austin is certainly not a red city.  We will be comfortable there, just a little more cautious than we may be used to here.


So, I will write more as more boxes are packed, and we get ready on a journey of life, love and happiness.


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