OK.. All Armadillos have their underbelly..

I feel like an Armadillo at times.  Hard shell, gets around well, and sometimes even a little cute.  If I have a moment, of exposed anxiety, I remember there is a shell around me and I just keep trudging forward.  The faster I move, walk or execute an idea the less likely that thin skinned underbelly will show and I will get hurt.  So, I sit here this morning feeling like an Armadillo on his back, legs and feet scrambling trying to get back on his feet to have that shell protect him once again.

It doesn't happen to me often.   Miss Daisy Bell spent the night here, and she was amazing.  The weather yesterday was pretty horrible but she managed to keep her wits about her. (OK she did what dogs do, she slept all day).   She didn't run out in the rain too much, and actually seemed to find a way to walk under the umbrella with me.  So, we had an OK day sitting at home in the rain.  She seems to be eating well.  Slowly gaining more strength, and actually showing a little spunk.  All good, and I think she is beginning to realize we are the boss and she needs to heal and follow as compared to the drag to the next sniff on our walks.

Yes, I have mentioned my mood can shift with the weather so having her company was a good thing. 

This morning we were up early.  Not early to me, but for her, around 6:00 AM or 6:30 AM... everyone get their act together.  The sun is out shining thankfully.  All the water in the parking lot, mostly gone, and a much better doggy day.  So, I think walk, feed the creature, and then off for my usual huff and puff walk.  So far so good.  The weather was a little cooler this morning.  She enjoyed a longer walk than usual, who wouldn't after being inside most of the day yesterday, and all is well.  Back to feed her, and I even got coffee ready for my return.  She wanted another quick walk, so off we go, and now it is my turn.  Standing at my car to get my head phones and I hear a bark.  Could it be Daisy Bell?  Haven't heard her bark much.  Yes, it is her... so I wait to see if it will stop.  Only 8am, and I really don't want her to wake the natives.  So, she barks again and I go up and make her feel bad for barking, so I hope.  And try again, I stood downstairs and realized she only barked when something went by the condo or another dog barked outside.  I just realized that my walk would wait till it was a little later in the morning and the occasional bark doesn't bother the natives.  Truthfully, I don't want a dog that doesn't bark when things aren't right, but I realize she may just be a little too large to be here all the time. (I knew that already).

So, dog days are good.  She is right now back to her normal sleeping position on the couch and here I sit.  I am sitting here at my dining table, coffee in hand, watching outside one window where the gay pride flag is blowing over the breeze of the water below.  The other light is sun for miles with a hint of clouds and palm trees in my window.  And, I realize once again as my gloomy mood lifts, I am a slave to the sunshine.

I am a lucky fellow.  I have created at the mid-point of my life, some freedom of choice and time.  Robert Frost had two roads to choose from, and I see more than two.  It makes my choices more important.  It also makes certainty of direction a little less easy to obtain.  So, no complaints, just a little off and wondering how this day may unfold to change all of that.

There are moments I miss a career of total activity.  Where three balls are in the air, and like an arcade game you are waiting for the next one to add to the juggle. Where the most important decisions come down to what is the most important activity to give your focus to without letting the other balls fall hopelessly to the floor.

There are moments where I really just want to get on a plane and fly away.  I don't know where, and as mentioned in an early post, I actually like the journey itself almost as much as the destination.

There are moments where I want to find a greater calling and when I see possibilities I breathe, and wonder.

There are moments I go into a store, or a restaurant and they all seem happy there.  I wonder what would I be like as a merchant, a restaurateur, or even a bartender.

Then there are moments where I listen to this sweet dog snoring on my couch and think there must be another possibility that I haven't discovered.  As I continue to watch the wind blowing the palm trees, the flags over the water, and think what a lucky fellow I am to be able to explore these choices.  Maybe the answer is exposing my underbelly enough to catch something new...