OK.. in honor of Ivan's post.. I have never written about my view of AEPi in College.;l
OK.. in honor of Ivan's post.. I have never written about my view of AEPi in College.
Maybe some of this will come as a shock to those of that time, but I was an unusual pledge as I was a sophomore. Actually didn't imagine wanting to be in a Fraternity and came to this in a very unusual path, and that led me to AEPi.
When I was a senior in High School, I actually graduated 10th in my class, I had narrowed down my college choices to Mercer University and UGA. I happened to be bagging groceries at Red and White and the daughter of the owner had been accepted to Mercer and kept saying how great it was. Nice Baptist college in a very accepting Georgia town of Macon (smiles). So, the more I heard about it and frankly a little bit of a desire to show I could go also I applied to Mercer and University of GA among others. I remember Boston University was recruiting me, but there was no realistic way I could see being in Boston.
My folks were skeptical of Mercer. They had a parents reception in Savannah and assured us that 10% of their enrollment was actually Jewish and that they were a very open campus. I was accepted and was actually enrolled in their Freshman honors program. But, I was still skeptical, so in great Brian fashion I realized that I could put a deposit down at Mercer and at UGA and would have the summer to decide and would just lose my deposit to one of them. This turns out to be Herschel Walker's last year playing at UGA (I think) this is fall of '82. I went on a tour of Mercer, was housed with one of their student recruiters (turned out they were on some knd of commission) and everything was so nice. The only thing that was not so exciting was the computer lab but they promised me that was going to be updated very soon. So, I decided as a freshman to go to Mercer. Amazing when I arrived, I think it took me two weeks to find another Jewish student. They ran rush right before Rosh Hashannah so they could rush the Jews through so people knew who we were. The nice recruiter treated me like dirt, and they roomed me with a Junior math major who was not sociable at all. So, to turn the clock quicker I decided I think in week four to leave Mercer and go to UGA and not wait for the end of the year. Turned out because I never cancelled my enrollment was easy for UGA to reinstate me and frankly I got one of the last dorm assignments for winter quarter because of that. (Herschel Walker's last year and a top ranking in Playboy's party schools made UGA the place to be apparently!)
At UGA, things were interesting. It turned out that last room happened to be on a floor of men who most were part of a baptist group that were evangelist. The other person on the hall was Jeff Saxon (I think) and he was at AEPi. But, at the time I was hell bent on being independent. I didn't see myself fitting in, and at that early stage of discussion I thought I would go TEP. Dad was a legacy, and even though many of the Savannah men weren't necessarily friendly to me, I assumed that would be my path which also might have been another reason not to think Greek. Well, life happens in magical ways, those kind loving evangelical students decided that I would be their mission for the year. Try to convert Brian at all costs. My roommate was some fellow, whose girlfriend would stay in the room with us (how precious was that looking back) and really liked my stereo. There were two fellows from Rome GA who were supposedly my friends, but they were all really about finding out about my whereabouts so they could tell their other friends on the hall. I remember this English major who would come in and try and debate scripture with me, and I would just walk away and the less I argued the madder at me he got. The RA on the floor happened to be part of the same group so he was no help at all either. Once they realized I was hopeless, they would do mean things to me some silly like shaving cream on the bottom of my shoes, but mostly just nasty kids. It turned out that whole first two quarters at UGA all the people who acted like friends on the hall were really just wanting to convert me or otherwise wanted nothing really to do with me personally. My tendency was not to be confrontational, but to frankly walk away, and that seemed to make them more mad than anything. This culminated with a swastika being carved into my door. (was a small one if that matters, and for the record that nice RA tried to charge me for it when the year was over)
So, I don't remember a conscious decision to go to rush but looking at the above probably not a surprise either. I had been at summer school that year, and was probably the best quarter I had so far. Scholastically was better (I made the Dean's list for the first time) and the one roommate I had which was linked back to the previous year was not really agreeable with all of them and life improved. I don't remember much, I just remember fall quarter and knowing it was rush at AEPi and frankly I couldn't see going TEP. So, I went to a party at the AEPi house. I had a few drinks, and they all acted like they liked me, and I remember signing on to the poster and then I was a pledge. I remember being at the library and the brothers walking around with liquor in paper bags, and having to take a shot each time they passed by. Those two nice men from Rome GA ended up sitting with me in shock as I proceeded to drink in the library, which is when they volunteered they weren't really my friends the previous year any way.
I remember needing a pledge paddle but not having the money to go to the Greek supply store where each letter was at least a $1 back then and thinking how smart I was to find one at the art supply store that was huge until someone thought we might get spanked with those paddles. I had already taken three programming classes, and for some reason, business majors at GA had to take one computer programming class to graduate. I spent a lot of my pledge time helping (smiles) seniors write programs and that kept me out of a few road trips and shenanigans. I remember feeling at times a little old, as a sophomore pledge. Frankly, felt at times in the beginning a little out of place but pretty quickly felt like it was home. I also remember once I was co-oping with IBM how nice it was to have the house to come back to in school times and frankly on key weekends like the Beggars Formal weekend.
I felt like I was part of something. When there were challenges on campus around antisemitism we were there. We also happened to have one of the highest GPA's of any fraternity so made it hard for the school to discipline us even if we deserved it. In my time, rush was really about 3 weeks of parties and signing pledges up and seeing if they fit in once the hangovers were done. But, that inclusiveness early on and family feel compared to what I had experienced at Mercer and first year at UGA was obviously critical to me at the time. I didn't wait to be a brother, I moved into the house winter quarter and never looked back. I learned to funnel beers, Glen was explaining to me all the dangers and I just decided what the hell.
I remember all the disagreements in the house, but if there was any challenge to any brother on campus we knew we would stand up for each other. I was part of a rival to TEP, but was involved in a social world primarily of Jewish men and women, much safer and friendly than a hall of evangelical students making my life a living hell.
I also remember the joy of living in the fraternity house. I loved 2AM the best I think. If I couldn't sleep, I knew somebody would be up and you could just go down to their room and chat. I learned that regardless of where we were born, scholastic ambitions, or frankly perspectives on life at 2AM in that house you could talk to any one and enjoy their company. It was also the beginning of me coming out of my shell, and being a little more outgoing and gregarious. Frankly, this served me well later in life. I never really judged someone negatively, I would think at 2AM you could just talk to anyone. I also learned, if someone had played a joke on me, that if I suggested something creative as revenge at 2AM that it would somehow happen without me actively participating.
I made a plan to myself, I wouldn't drink during the week to make sure school came first so I would pretend to drink at socials. Football season was great, tailgating at the house, walking down river road to go to the stadium. I used to say if I wasn't horse from screaming at the game by half time we were losing.
What I remember the most, was the feeling at AEPi that once you were a brother you were in and part of tight family. We may have tried to push a pledge out we didn't think fit in but once you were in you were in. AEPi made me feel secure, at a time where my being Jewish had made me uncomfortable. It also was a key to bringing me out of my shell and allowing my success later in life as a sales and marketing professional. I hope it does for pledges in 2013 what it did for this one in 1983 (oy!)
Maybe some of this will come as a shock to those of that time, but I was an unusual pledge as I was a sophomore. Actually didn't imagine wanting to be in a Fraternity and came to this in a very unusual path, and that led me to AEPi.
When I was a senior in High School, I actually graduated 10th in my class, I had narrowed down my college choices to Mercer University and UGA. I happened to be bagging groceries at Red and White and the daughter of the owner had been accepted to Mercer and kept saying how great it was. Nice Baptist college in a very accepting Georgia town of Macon (smiles). So, the more I heard about it and frankly a little bit of a desire to show I could go also I applied to Mercer and University of GA among others. I remember Boston University was recruiting me, but there was no realistic way I could see being in Boston.
My folks were skeptical of Mercer. They had a parents reception in Savannah and assured us that 10% of their enrollment was actually Jewish and that they were a very open campus. I was accepted and was actually enrolled in their Freshman honors program. But, I was still skeptical, so in great Brian fashion I realized that I could put a deposit down at Mercer and at UGA and would have the summer to decide and would just lose my deposit to one of them. This turns out to be Herschel Walker's last year playing at UGA (I think) this is fall of '82. I went on a tour of Mercer, was housed with one of their student recruiters (turned out they were on some knd of commission) and everything was so nice. The only thing that was not so exciting was the computer lab but they promised me that was going to be updated very soon. So, I decided as a freshman to go to Mercer. Amazing when I arrived, I think it took me two weeks to find another Jewish student. They ran rush right before Rosh Hashannah so they could rush the Jews through so people knew who we were. The nice recruiter treated me like dirt, and they roomed me with a Junior math major who was not sociable at all. So, to turn the clock quicker I decided I think in week four to leave Mercer and go to UGA and not wait for the end of the year. Turned out because I never cancelled my enrollment was easy for UGA to reinstate me and frankly I got one of the last dorm assignments for winter quarter because of that. (Herschel Walker's last year and a top ranking in Playboy's party schools made UGA the place to be apparently!)
At UGA, things were interesting. It turned out that last room happened to be on a floor of men who most were part of a baptist group that were evangelist. The other person on the hall was Jeff Saxon (I think) and he was at AEPi. But, at the time I was hell bent on being independent. I didn't see myself fitting in, and at that early stage of discussion I thought I would go TEP. Dad was a legacy, and even though many of the Savannah men weren't necessarily friendly to me, I assumed that would be my path which also might have been another reason not to think Greek. Well, life happens in magical ways, those kind loving evangelical students decided that I would be their mission for the year. Try to convert Brian at all costs. My roommate was some fellow, whose girlfriend would stay in the room with us (how precious was that looking back) and really liked my stereo. There were two fellows from Rome GA who were supposedly my friends, but they were all really about finding out about my whereabouts so they could tell their other friends on the hall. I remember this English major who would come in and try and debate scripture with me, and I would just walk away and the less I argued the madder at me he got. The RA on the floor happened to be part of the same group so he was no help at all either. Once they realized I was hopeless, they would do mean things to me some silly like shaving cream on the bottom of my shoes, but mostly just nasty kids. It turned out that whole first two quarters at UGA all the people who acted like friends on the hall were really just wanting to convert me or otherwise wanted nothing really to do with me personally. My tendency was not to be confrontational, but to frankly walk away, and that seemed to make them more mad than anything. This culminated with a swastika being carved into my door. (was a small one if that matters, and for the record that nice RA tried to charge me for it when the year was over)
So, I don't remember a conscious decision to go to rush but looking at the above probably not a surprise either. I had been at summer school that year, and was probably the best quarter I had so far. Scholastically was better (I made the Dean's list for the first time) and the one roommate I had which was linked back to the previous year was not really agreeable with all of them and life improved. I don't remember much, I just remember fall quarter and knowing it was rush at AEPi and frankly I couldn't see going TEP. So, I went to a party at the AEPi house. I had a few drinks, and they all acted like they liked me, and I remember signing on to the poster and then I was a pledge. I remember being at the library and the brothers walking around with liquor in paper bags, and having to take a shot each time they passed by. Those two nice men from Rome GA ended up sitting with me in shock as I proceeded to drink in the library, which is when they volunteered they weren't really my friends the previous year any way.
I remember needing a pledge paddle but not having the money to go to the Greek supply store where each letter was at least a $1 back then and thinking how smart I was to find one at the art supply store that was huge until someone thought we might get spanked with those paddles. I had already taken three programming classes, and for some reason, business majors at GA had to take one computer programming class to graduate. I spent a lot of my pledge time helping (smiles) seniors write programs and that kept me out of a few road trips and shenanigans. I remember feeling at times a little old, as a sophomore pledge. Frankly, felt at times in the beginning a little out of place but pretty quickly felt like it was home. I also remember once I was co-oping with IBM how nice it was to have the house to come back to in school times and frankly on key weekends like the Beggars Formal weekend.
I felt like I was part of something. When there were challenges on campus around antisemitism we were there. We also happened to have one of the highest GPA's of any fraternity so made it hard for the school to discipline us even if we deserved it. In my time, rush was really about 3 weeks of parties and signing pledges up and seeing if they fit in once the hangovers were done. But, that inclusiveness early on and family feel compared to what I had experienced at Mercer and first year at UGA was obviously critical to me at the time. I didn't wait to be a brother, I moved into the house winter quarter and never looked back. I learned to funnel beers, Glen was explaining to me all the dangers and I just decided what the hell.
I remember all the disagreements in the house, but if there was any challenge to any brother on campus we knew we would stand up for each other. I was part of a rival to TEP, but was involved in a social world primarily of Jewish men and women, much safer and friendly than a hall of evangelical students making my life a living hell.
I also remember the joy of living in the fraternity house. I loved 2AM the best I think. If I couldn't sleep, I knew somebody would be up and you could just go down to their room and chat. I learned that regardless of where we were born, scholastic ambitions, or frankly perspectives on life at 2AM in that house you could talk to any one and enjoy their company. It was also the beginning of me coming out of my shell, and being a little more outgoing and gregarious. Frankly, this served me well later in life. I never really judged someone negatively, I would think at 2AM you could just talk to anyone. I also learned, if someone had played a joke on me, that if I suggested something creative as revenge at 2AM that it would somehow happen without me actively participating.
I made a plan to myself, I wouldn't drink during the week to make sure school came first so I would pretend to drink at socials. Football season was great, tailgating at the house, walking down river road to go to the stadium. I used to say if I wasn't horse from screaming at the game by half time we were losing.
What I remember the most, was the feeling at AEPi that once you were a brother you were in and part of tight family. We may have tried to push a pledge out we didn't think fit in but once you were in you were in. AEPi made me feel secure, at a time where my being Jewish had made me uncomfortable. It also was a key to bringing me out of my shell and allowing my success later in life as a sales and marketing professional. I hope it does for pledges in 2013 what it did for this one in 1983 (oy!)
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