"Be the kind of person you would like to meet"

"Be the kind of person you would like to meet"

This is the picture that is posted on a dating site, and it strikes me is quite an interesting statement. 

There are sayings that I appreciate:

 "Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are!"

  "What would you do if you could not fail?"

Even some of the funny ones:

"Dinner isn't ready till the smoke alarm goes off"

"Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?

Or the serious and thoughtful:

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their Dreams" Eleanor Roosevelt

 "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom" Marcel Prost.

All of the above adorn the side of my refrigerator, not sure that is where Eleanor Roosevelt or Robert Frost thought their words would wind up, but I assume and hope they would be happy to be remembered.

But, this idea of "Be the kind of person you would like to meet" is a little bit more personal to me.  If this is meant to be more of the general statement.  Be someone people would like to meet, then that is nice and frankly a little less concerning to me.  

There are days, and yesterday was one of them, where I was just in a bit of a funk.  Maybe was just tired, seemed to sit on the couch more than usual.  Watched more bad movies on Netflix and slept through some of them.  Then had leftovers for dinner, and didn't turn the leftover steak into shoe leather, so all in all was a good day to me.  But, would I have been the person I would have wanted someone else to meet?  Probably not. 

I have moments where I think I am charming, witty, and a good person to be with.  Frankly, I hope and think that is usually the case but yesterday was not one of those days.  There are times, rare, that if I could leave myself at home I would, even though I know that moment will not last and there may be a good reason, but he is not the person I would choose to meet either.

But, what if the point is ... truthfully as stated:  "be the person you would like to meet” In other words I should be somebody if I was walking down the street, or at a bar, or at a singles meet and greet that I would personally want to meet.  The truth is I wouldn't choose to meet me.  I spend every minute of my life with me.  I do happen to like myself.  Maybe, at times, a little too much.  I enjoy my company.  I think I am a good cook, and frankly when my hair is cut and beard trimmed I don't think I would be worthy of two paper bags (probably not one but this is not up to me).  But, if I met myself, I think I would find it quite boring actually. 

Think about meeting yourself, we would sit down and start talking to each other, but the conversation would be quite unoriginal to both of us.  He would say something that I would know right away what he meant.  The jokes wouldn't be really funny because I had already thought of them myself, and probably repeated them a few times (sorry) or worse we would both laugh uncontrollably.  

The dinner would be tasty most likely, maybe argue over why we are ordering the same thing.  The wine selection would be my choice and some discussion about Malbec's would ensue I am sure.  Do we really like Malbec's or just sounds so much more masculine to order than a Cabernet or a Merlot?  This would continue for about 15 minutes, and assuming that I didn't realize I was meeting myself, we would get mad that each other was so agreeable.  Then I picture boredom setting in, and we both try and figure out how to exit dinner without offending the other self. 

The truth is again, I do like myself.  But, the person I would rather meet is not me at all.  Somebody who is smart, funny, witty and will challenge me and my mind.  Have an intensity of mind, but a relaxed nature and frankly someone who does have opinions that are valued but are not a copy of mine. 

I have some great friends and they tend, whether they realize it or not, to plant seeds in my mind that change my direction or opinion from time to time.  It sometimes takes longer for these thoughts to germinate in my mind but it does happen.  The last month in Key West was very fertile ground for planting seeds and thoughts and now I am trying to carefully nurture them for the future.  So, to meet the person I would want to meet would require me to change and not be myself at all.  

I don't need a second me second guessing (or third, fourth, and fifth guessing) where my life is going.  There are plenty of people with opinions some even shared, and frankly mine are changing all the time, so I don't think having a second me here would do me much good.   So, I will continue to be satisfied with me and looking for variety of people to meet along the way.  Frankly, if the sole purpose was to look for someone like me to meet then I might as well just stay home.  So, if there is a twin me out there, sorry please move on, but why say sorry when he would agree we shouldn't meet any way. 

There are two magnets on my fridge that sum up my thoughts and desires as the coffee kicks in this morning:

   

"happiness is a journey not a destination" Souza

 "some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next, delicious ambiguity... " Gilda Radner (I and the world still misses her!)