Balancing the Love of family and Faith!

 

When I was a child. My Grandpa would walk to synagogue on Saturday, Shabbos, morning. Their house was a block or two from ours.

If you went to synagogue (Shul), and walked with Grandpa, you also got to have lunch with him and Granny at their house.

I loved walking with Grandpa and talking about the world. His advice and stories, like the time he explained to me, he couldn’t understand smoking. Even as a young man, the idea of sucking smoke out of something burning to him didn’t seem wise.

He was also a great company for me at Shul. I remember how it was pleasant to be with him. He made me feel special and treated me more like an adult. While the other kids ran around the social hall, I only wanted to sit next to him. At first, he wanted me to be more social and would ask me to go to Junior congregation where the kids prayed. But, eventually, he figured out my secret. I just wanted to be there with him.

It was a great treat to walk home with him and usually Mr. Rotkow. We would get to discuss the sermon that day. We would discuss world affairs. We are talking more than forty years ago, and the memory is quite clear. Again, I felt more like an adult and special.

At the end of the walk home was the icing on the cake, lunch at Granny and Grandpas'. Delicious food, real cokes in the small bottles, nice dessert, and again good conversation. Granny would set a lovely table.  She would regale me with the stories of her childhood.  He lessons of being independent, always making sure she had her own money, and her experiences were as entertaining and wise as Grandpas'.

My Grandpa was religious with great faith and the love of being Jewish. He also loved his family. He didn’t expect perfection from his grandchildren, or at least not of me. I was the youngest of eight.

One day, I was talking to him, and he told me that he would wait at the corner near our house on Shabbos morning at a particular time, say 8 am. He then said I will wait 3-5 minutes, and if you don’t join me, it is OK.  Just because you don’t join me in Shul doesn’t mean you can’t have lunch with Granny and me.

I was always torn between the two choices, as going over to their house on Shabbos morning was also very special.  Spending time with Granny was great fun.  She would teach me about entertaining, tell me family stories, and how she lived a good and happy life.  She was ahead of her time, telling me how she always did some work to have her own money, which was important for men and women.  She also seemed to know the minute when Grandpa would arrive and have dinner ready right on time.

That said, what I am reminded of today was my Grandpa. He loved being Jewish. He loved being in Shul. As I said,  he had true faith in his heart.

Many would have used lunch as the “carrot” to get me to go to Shul. “Meet me at the corner, go to Shul, or no lunch with Granny and me"

But he did not. I think he trusted most mornings I would join him, but his love of me and spending time with him and Granny was as important as if I chose to go to Shul with him that Shabbos morning.  Maybe, not only did he love me, but he realized I needed the lessons Granny would share as much as his own.

Wouldn't it be nice if all of those who profess to be religious and share their faith had the same love and trust of their family as my Grandpa?  As compared to many that use their faith and bible to judge and try and control others and their own family.