What are the signs for help?


I have been sitting on the sidelines for a while. Not writing in my personal blog as I begin a new career adventure with TekMonks. I am doing a great deal of writing for TekMonks, which I enjoy, but it has also been a bit challenging to find something I feel interesting enough and passionate enough to write about.

That said, I have found something that is on my mind. I appreciate all the people who post on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook who have written books and podcasts about their advice to us all on improving work, family, home, and other recommendations. I am sure they come from their best practices and good intentions, and I thought what I would share some of my words of wisdom as they may be. 

I am 57, I know at this age in the professional world that is considered old and dated, but I feel neither. I have had a varied career starting at 13 as a camp counselor, and then to IBM, where I earned a number of 100% clubs and a Golden Circle before headed to NY, where my career varied from being a global product manager for e-commerce, worldwide sales leader for small and medium business, and finished as a channel leader in North America for Integration appliances.

Since leaving IBM, I have been a sales and marketing leader for an IBM partner, ran my own marketing workshops, and even failed to start a consulting business that opened its doors around the beginning of the pandemic. Today I am the director of channel sales and marketing for TekMonks.

I share the above not to brag, but to say I have been around the block and worldwide, and there are some advantages to being 57.  

Here are my words of advice for what they are worth.

First, there are no two people that are the same. Think about it, even identical twins have different personalities and interests.   This means that the standard advice that should apply to everyone will be generalized and may not apply to you.

Second, the first step in anyone's professional and personal journey into adulthood should be what makes you happy and what makes you content. This can be work-related, but it needs to be a baseline for your choices professionally and personally. It is neither selfish nor evil to prioritize your own happiness and contentment. In my opinion, it is the happiest of people that have more to contribute to the world.

Third, what makes you happy and content should change over time. Maturity and life experience should influence your choices and help you evolve as a human being.

Fourth, be like a racehorse. Know where you are in the race, but leverage blinders to keep you focused and don’t waste your energy on where other people are in their race of life. Keep the focus on what will make you happy and content. Defining your own success is more important.

Fifth, following on the fourth, we live in a time where it appears very easy to compare our lives, our wants, and what we have with others. Just look all over social media, and you would think everyone is happy in their own lives. That is not true. We all have challenges, angst, and stress in our lives, which is part of realizing we are alive. Envy and jealousy can sap you of energy, and your happiness doesn't let it.

Sixth, one of the greatest lessons of a great sales rep is to observe everything around you. While talking to a customer and prospect, looking around the office, the desk the walls to see what is really going on and not just what you are told is important. This lesson extended to your life means observing all that is around you. It will make you a more complete person and will also open your eyes to see what is true in the world and is one important key to always learning.

Seventh, this will be unpopular in today's world, but being authentic should not have to be learned. If you go back to the first point and focus on your happiness and contentment, you will be authentic across your life, and you won't have to relearn how to be authentic. The supporting side of authenticity is honesty. Honestly is important, and I love the saying that you don't have to remember what you tell people if it is true, but you do have to work at keeping up with lies so stay truthful and authentic.

Eighth goes with seventh, empathy should come naturally and not be a learned trait either. Children are naturally concerned with each other and their families when they see people in need or unhappy. We as adults become too critical and judgmental of each other instead of trying to have empathy and concern for one another. If you get in touch with your own self and truth, empathy will come naturally.  

Ninth, and the most controversial, if all the self-help advice, including this blog, is helpful to you great. But remember, we are all unique. We have unique DNA, unique influences on our lives, and what makes us happy and content. There really isn't any perfect guide for your life. If we all picked one book to follow, we would all be alike, and that would be boring, and nobody would be happy except the one who wrote the actual book or recorded their own podcast. 

This was a long way to say: follow your heart to happiness and contentment. Don't expect any magic bullets in a book to change that. 

 If you can't find what will make you happy or how to address your life challenges, I highly recommend therapy. It is great to talk to a professional whose sole goal professionally is to help you be a happier and more complete you.   

I believe with self-awareness, there is no greater achievement in life than to wake up in the morning and realize you are the best you can be.


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