So, I woke up in a funk this morning, wondering why today is different.

So, I woke up this morning, wondering why today is different.



As I sit here, there is a funk over me today.   These moods, are rare, but they tend to start with feeling  a little down or uncertain of the day ahead.  There are advantages to being 55.  I know these moods are inside my head and I just need to find the right music, a walk in the park, or maybe write in my blog to discover what is the cause and I can usually find a resolution and get back to a happier place and content mind.

Nobody really can help me in these moments.  Talking about it won't help because honestly until I know what is pulling me down what can others do to help. Getting inside my head is not easy and subjecting others, even Frank, to what is not a well thought out discovery process is not fair to them or often helpful.


I slept well last night, after severe rainstorms and a Tornado warning yesterday.  Our new home is on a hill, and there are French drains that direct the water under and around the house. We had some initial buildup of water in the back but quickly the drains did their job and the back was dry. 

In the past I would look to change my scenery and my routine.  Before the lock-down I had taken to going downtown to the Silver Grizzly and have coffee and get the day of work or thoughts of the day organized.  This enabled me to deal with the mood of the day, and honestly keep it where it belongs in my head.  

But today is different.  This isn't my mood alone.  The Silver Grizzly is closed for a time.  Driving around, McDonald's was open but going through a drive thru for a cup of coffee didn't seem to meet the requirement.  Work, which is my normal elixir, putting my brain in work mode and let the energy and endorphins take over and help push me through the day.  But work has slowed as it has for many.

These times are different. This isn't under my control.  Can't make the pandemic go away, any more than Dr. Fauci can with a snap of his capable fingers.  This isn't normal and I am sitting here for the 26th day and have not been in a store even for milk in over 10 days.  I mentally count rolls of toilet paper in the house and wonder when I should really worry about it.  We have ordered masks and they arrive today.  Don't know what that will be like, and even though it should allow me to get out more I know the right answer for everyone's safety is to stay at home.  Listening to Dr. Fauci I realized this is about safeguarding others more than just about my own health. 



It is tempting to watch all the happy picture on Facebook and think that everyone else is weathering this storm better than I am.    Social media in this time is a blessing allowing us all to connect and not feel so isolated.  But we all put on our happy face mostly and I think we all need to realize the challenges many are facing including an occasional funky mood.  


I must remember this morning that I am truly a lucky man.  I do have a great partner in this journey with Frank and having DaisyBelle and Lucky checking in on me reminds me of the love in my home.  As I mentioned, our home weathered two storms yesterday amazingly well.  Our cost of living is down, and if I were to be honest our lives are  apparently not that exciting.  Other than cooking more, our lives are pretty normal, and dare I say boring to some.  Except for not being able to see family or sneaking out to a restaurant or movie our daily routine is pretty much the same.

I am truly grateful that no one in our immediate families have caught this virus. It is one thing to get very sick but can't imagine the idea of a family member ending up in the hospital all alone.

I appreciate the free time and available online classes to help build new skills as I contemplate life and work once society moves back into a more normal pattern.  




Thank you for reading this blog, as it has helped me to share this as my own personal therapy. 

If this funk returns after lunch I may need to bake more cookies, I may have the Corona Growing Belly Syndrome!







I wish you all a very good Monday. Wish you all continued health, and Love to you all!



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